Baby steps, because thats all I got..., Becca/William

[William Byron]

William didn't know if this was a good idea, but Diana and Seregwen had both said the same thing but in slightly different ways. He needed Becca back and he needed to be the one to initiate the contact. So that was what brought him to the hotel room he had gotten out of Diana. He had dressed for the occasion as well. The faded jeans with the holes on the knee because thats what happened when you knelt in denim. It wasn't arty or designer, just general wear and tear. He wore his hair out and brushed, but no product in it, free to be as straight or fly away as the wind predicted. A zipped up hoodie covered much of his chest, a simple tight black singlet under that just because he knew the kid would be home and waking around with a shirt wasn't polite around kids. And finally the scarf from their first meeting, wrapped loosely around his throat and hanging down his shoulder.

William knocked, looking down at his scruffy shoes and worn clothes. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he tried to think of what to say. In his hand was a box with a selection of in bloom wild flowers. He had seen them in their beautiful innocence and natural glow and thought of Rebecca. Maybe he could do this right.

the flowers

[Rebecca Byron]

When the knock at the door came Becca's first thought had been William. She'd shoved that down, though, refusing to open the marks even the tiny pinhole amount that would let her check. She was being brutal with hope these days, she couldn't let herself start wishing or she'd never function at all.

So she told herself it was the front desk, or maybe Keane--her littlebird was not doing well at the club and Becca knew already that she was going to end up bringing him in with her and Charlie if (when, she tried to remind herself) this progressed. She uncurled herself from the sofa where Charlie had been playing a video game while she watched, the two of them talking in a desultory sort of way about his day at school, other games he'd played, and whatever else came up while he mashed buttons and she made idle lists in a notebook.

Dressed in the simpler clothes that she'd always preferred, a blue chambray dress and copper filigree jewelry with her hair up in a twist that had nothing to do with style and everything to do with keeping it out of her face, Becca padded barefoot to the door and opened it up without peeking through the peephole because even after only a few days she knew that she would just be disappointed when it wasn't William.

Except it was William, looking so very much like what she thought of as her version of him; the jeans and careless hair and God, the scarf around his neck, all the markers of who her husband was when he wasn't being the Master of Moorebank. Her eyes widened on seeing him, her expression terribly vulnerable as she licked her lips and tried to get her heart to stop thumping painfully in her chest.

"Hello, Will. Won't you come in?" Two things that showed how much she wanted the answer to be 'yes', despite the courteous neutrality of the invitation. She called him Will. And, more, she didn't shut down her expression, didn't put on her Perfect Servant Face that showed nothing but what she chose to show. Her eyes stayed wide and uncertain, there was a wary, defenseless twist to her mouth. She could have hidden them from him, at least after that first moment, but she didn't try. Just stepped back without smiling but also without looking away from William for a second, making room for him to come inside.

[William Byron]

William was surprised to find that Charlie was still awake and he frowned a little in disapproval. Maybe there was a parent inside of him after all. "William stepped into the room, unable to stop himself as he swooped down and kissed Rebecca's forehead because he couldn't walk past her and not kiss her. But he had been careful not to kiss her lips. He couldn't handle seeing her rejection.

"I brought these for you." He commented once he was inside the room. "I thought Charlie would be in bed by now." he said casually. Charlie had stopped playing his game. It was still loud and obnoxious and although his back was to the pair he was listening to their every word intently.

[Rebecca Byron]

Desperate as she was for any hint that William gave a damn about Charlie, Becca found hope in the disapproval in his tone, even if it were only motivated by wanting privacy. "It's very nearly bedtime, we were just talking a bit beforehand." Hope, blind or otherwise, had prompted her to enroll Charlie in a school which didn't start until 11 AM and ran until 5 PM, setting him up to be on a late-adjusted schedule which would work better if they ever returned to the Court. Not that she explained that just then, instead she looked down at the flowers and smiled widely, genuine and unguarded. "They're beautiful, thank you. Let me just put them in water. That is--" she glanced up at William, almost preylike in the nervousness there, "if you can stay a while?" If he was just dropping by to tell her something or drop off divorce papers or something...God she was an idiot.

[William Byron]

"I can stay. Raegan arranged for me to be unavailable until one." He told Rebecca, although he wondered if he might have been better if it wasn't so much time. A restriction on time could save him from saying the wrong thing again. He managed to do that alot. Especially lately. But Raegan had given him from sunset til early morning to work on this before he needed to be back in the office. William would appreciate the sentiment.

Charlie turned, finding Rebecca's face. "I got homework." he said suddenly. It was a complete lie but he was feeling very responsible for the whole situation and he didn't want to make Becca sad. He had heard her cry, and he had been to scared to comfort her, afraid she would realise the things he did. This was all his fault.

[Rebecca Byron]

Becca smiled at William and started to move to put the flowers in water, but was stopped by Charlie's interruption. She gave the boy a tiny smile and nodded. "Why don't you go ahead and work on it in your room, and I'll be in in half an hour to tuck you in for bed?" Ridiculous to be so grateful for a child's badly-told lie, but she was, and promised herself that she wouldn't rush through settling him in to bed tonight, she'd spend a few minutes with him and let him know that she appreciated his going and reassure him however she could.

[William Byron]

Charlie nodded, gave William a strange look. William smiled, but it was small and a little strained. But it was a start for him and Charlie didn't seem to care. He disappeared around the corner and William waited until he heard the door close before he spoke again. "How is he settling into Moorebank. Things must be kinda strange for the lil guy." William stuck a hand down his pocket. "How are you doing?" he added a little more quieter

[Rebecca Byron]

After fussing briefly with getting the flowers into the vase set in the cabinet above the wet bar, Becca moved back over to the couch and turned off the TV to silence Charlie's game but didn't sit down right away. Instead she crossed her arms behind her and stood awkwardly, watching Will and holding on to her own elbows for thin comfort. "They're really strange for him. I'm trying to figure out ways to give him certain things he can absolutely count on. A schedule, the best we can manage it, and I got him a phone so he knows he can always reach me. He doesn't know what he can depend on."

And because going any further with that thought would only lead to dangerous territory, she was left trying to answer the next, even more dangerous question. "I'm...okay. Surviving. I miss--" you, I miss you, God, baby, it's killing me I need you so badly "home." A clumsy shrug. "How about you, how are things going?"

[William Byron]

William ignored the information about Charlie. Not because he didn't care. It was becoming apparent that if he wanted Becca he had to take the kid as well. But really he had only asked in the hopes of making his follow up question seem less out of the blue and more logical. "Home misses you too Becca. I miss you." he added in case she got that stupid idea that she was only needed for her abilities to manage the running of the people who lived there.

"I'm lost without you baby girl." he took a step towards her. "Sure I rise and I work but its not fulfilling. Before I was working to keep this tow safe for you, make you proud of me. Now it all feels really empty." he confessed.

[Rebecca Byron]

Her mouth trembled briefly, she unlocked her arms from behind her and one hand crept out, always seeking his touch. "I hate this," she admitted in a tiny voice. "I hate being away from you and everything else that matters, that we've been trying to build. I want to come home," her voice cracked and she swallowed hard, "but things are so messed up with us right now. I can't live like we have been. I want to come back to you so bad, but I can't survive it being all hurtful and angry and all the things unsaid."

[William Byron]

"Then say them." William urged her. "Stop letting them be unsaid and just say them." he repeated as if it would do anything more then if he had just shut up. "I'm sorry I hurt you, and I wish I could promise never to do it again, but we both know that isn't going to happen. But I can promise Babygirl that I will always want you and I will always be sorry and that we are always destined to be together." He took her hand in his own. "i'm sorry I didn't react to Charlie the way you wanted me too. I'm sorry for saying the things I did. And baby I will always be sorry for Viv."

[Rebecca Byron]

Gripping William's hand so hard that it made her fingers ache, Becca drew him over to sit down on the couch with her, close enough that their knees touched but not letting herself slide onto his lap or get her arms around him the way she was dying to. Just clutched his hand and said, "I'm sorry I...beat at you with Charlie the way I did, I was so freaked out and scared about it that all I knew how to do was start making plans about how to deal with the--the new situation instead of actually talking about it."

She twisted her fingers together with his. "I just want things right between us again. Can we try and do that, please baby? There's--" she shook her head, "Charlie, and Viv, and the thing at the club the other night, but there's other stuff too. You're different lately and I don't know why. I don't know what I did to make you so angry at me all the time." Her eyes were tearing up but she didn't let them fall yet.

[William Byron]

"I wish I could give you the answers you deserve Becca, but I got nothing." William said honestly. "I don't even know where this is all coming from and I don't realise its odd until someone mentions it to me. Only then to I reflect on the moment and see its not me." William shrugged and took both of her hands in hers so they were almost face to face. "I can't explain and honestly I haven't really thought about. I am so busy playing master, I sometimes forget who Will is."

[Rebecca Byron]

"I like Will," she said plaintively. "I miss him when he's gone." She lifted one of his hands in hers and kissed the back of it and even that small touch set up a shiver in the pit of her stomach. "So I guess we...talk?" She sounded ridiculously uncertain about that. "Where do you think we should start? With Charlie? Or Viviane? The ardeur? This...I don't even know what to call it, but this resentment that it seems like you're feeling?" It all needed to be discussed, she just wasn't sure where was safest to begin.

[William Byron]

William nodded, his own body reacting to the kiss she laid on his hand. Sometimes he hated how easily she got to him. Having her was dangerous as a Master. But he could never let her go and William had done everything he could make her safe. The marks and the protection... "Lets start with Charlie, coz thats really the only one I can make sense of." He said honestly. "Its not that I didn't want him around Becca. Because I do, kinda. Its just that..." he paused, looking for words. "Well you didn't seem to want to give me that chance to work with him at my own pace. I didn't even know if he was really my kid and you were so protective and maternal already. Its not that I didn't want the kid around its just... complicated." he finished lamely.

"I understand for you, there was only one option in the situation. But for me there wasn't. And you never asked me how I felt. I guess the shoe was on the other foot, the opposite view of the whole Viv situation."