Title: I need help
Description: not physically.
Twilight - October 23, 2007 03:33 AM (GMT)
I don't think can take it anymore.
Being left out
I haven't even told anyone I just put on my fake smile everyday
I do stupid shit all the time that embarrasses me
It makes me feel like shit
I cry over the stupidest things and I'm even more sensitive than normal
I don't hurt myself
but I do in my mind and its killing me
I'm only twelve
I have the ideal life
nothing is seriously wrong
everyone is alive
i want to live
i want to be happy
but i cant
maybe for a minute but thats it
i have negative self esteem
i don't know what to do
ill never talk to any adult
its out of the question
does depression go away?
please help. u___u
im in tears
this is not fake
not seeking any attention over the internet
I CANNOT FUCKING TAKE THIS SHIT
Twilight - October 23, 2007 03:35 AM (GMT)
when I try to talk to a friend
its just like
it doesnt matter
im not important
i dont care about how /////you///////// feel just make me feel better instead
Wynn - October 23, 2007 11:05 AM (GMT)
.. I was depressed in 7th grade, not attention seeking here either, but I know how you're feeling right now, and something that helped me eventually was playing a game. kdfsg it sounds really retarded but I played KH: CoM and that helped me.. maybe because it was at the same time as when I went on an orchestra trip to Ohio. also, my friends didn't really notice anything wrong with me (as if I would show them?) and they kept on being like.. cheerful as usual. 8c but I found that most people don't really know how to act responsibly around someone who's depressed.
so.. I dunno. games helped me, I don't know if they'll help you. try not to do spur-of-the-moment 'stupid stuff' like you said you did, and avoid it, since it's bringing you so much grief. also, maybe you should like.. focus more on schoolwork and stuff if you don't already. if you get really awesome grades, people will notice you at some point, seriously. and there's a good chance your teachers will really like you - being favored feels really nice sometimes. this is just from an academic point of view, though.
but I see nothing to hate about you, you're gorgeous, funny, and before now you really seemed to like your friends. you're a wonderful artist, too, and you're so young.. you shouldn't be thinking of this :/
like stitch said below, talk to a school counselor/psychiatrist 8( or even talk to your pets, if you have any. I wish I could help more but everybody is different |C if you go to the library (discreetly) see if they have any books on depression and how to cope with it 8( or I can, I suppose.. I have a few here at mine. u_u if I can help at all I will..? your call.
Stitchums - October 23, 2007 07:11 PM (GMT)
Its most likely depression hun. >:
You should maybe go to the school nurse or psychiatrist(sp?). They really do help. Most of them don't have to tell your parents either. So maybe you should talk to them about it? :C They're trained for stuff like this.
And I know how you feel.
Pretending that it doesn't hurt doesn't work, but I seem to do it anyway too. >:
Tetra - October 24, 2007 12:58 AM (GMT)
I've been through a small depression, but I won't pretend it's anything like what you're probably going though. It was fifth grade, my grades were slipping and I got really down. Music was actually what got me through it. I'd just sit on my bed and listen to the radio and by the end of that year I was out of it.
Your's sounds much worse than what I went through, so I'm going to suggest professional help. School counslor, doctor, anyone, just find someone to talk to. It helps, really. :>
Mucho love, I hope you feel better. :3
Twilight - October 28, 2007 11:56 PM (GMT)
thank you for the fast replies. u_u <333333
ducki - November 5, 2007 10:48 PM (GMT)
Ok, this NEVER goes over well, but I find that most things are your own fault. |D; I'm not accusing you of anything, but, like you said, you have a perfect life, you're pretty, you're whatever and you have whatever and everything is great.
That means the problem is probably lying within you. xD; Usually when I get depressed or listless, it means I haven't been doing enough, or I've been doing too much. If you slump around and think about how depressed you are, YOU ARE GOING TO BE DEPRESSED. If all you spend your time thinking about is how sad you are even though everything is great, you are going to be sad even though everything is great. This kinda sounds like the case.
Get up and out and do something you dont normally do, or do something that's always been a comfort to you. <3 Try something or just get away. Whatever you can do, do, because sitting and thinking about it will only make it worse.
The first thing I do is usually just get the hell away from what I've been doing. I quit being on the computer for a few weeks once, because every time I got on it triggered listlessness and overall a shitty feeling. Change is good <3
LISTENING TO HAPPY MUSIC HELPS TOO
I hope everything works out for you, because you're too good for this. ): :U Maybe take a break from Paramore lulz and try something happier