Raven sat legs and arms crossed leaning against a chair scarf in places gloves on snugly arms covered boots on no a single in of skin below her chin visible, not a single scar viewable. She’d grown disgusted with her body. She sought him out she needed to talk.. Why she wasn’t sure... no that was a lie she knew why she wanted to talk. She was running out, how long did she have a year a few months hell she didn’t know she didn’t want to...
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not religious, I gave up the promises of any god or deity along long time ago but... “ she paused sighing what was she doing this for? “People say... that it’s nice to talk... I don’t know I’ve never tried but I figure if nothing else I can tell at least some one about it... I don’t like it, knowing that... I’m just a dead man... woman walking... I almost feel like I should be a zombie or something...” she said shifting a little leaning forward
“It scars me...” she admitted finally “I spent my whole life wishing for this now I have it... and I’m terrified.” she said softly “Because now I have a home, a place I feel comfortable and people I tolerate with out wanting to just shot them...” she said with a small smile. “And now when I’ve found it, I’m going to lose it.” she said sighing bighting her lip “I won’t cry... I don’t think I can in front of people anymore... I drink and smoke and swear and spend every free moment either in a bar getting wasted or in the shooting rang picturing all sorts of gremlins as my targets.” she said softly
“I’m lying now... do I get in trouble? For lying to a priest?” she asked with a weak smile “I shot something else, something worse... and I feel sick for doing it to, picturing the faces on those targets, I am a demon just like my mother says.” she said softly shifting turning the chair so she could straddle it crossing her arms as she spoke “The coughing keeps getting worse.” she said softly “all I taste now is blood everything I eat aggravate my throat every time I breath I feel like a knife in my chest... I hate it.”