So Far Under, The Vex Pack

[Losty]

Linue led her pack away from the threat of those black monsters, with Foxx and Farley picking up the rear. For the most part, she was able to control the nausea that was edging its way up her throat. What she couldn't control was the violent trembling of her legs, her chest, her heart, because while her mind knew that leaving Gnome behind had been the only sensible option for the survival of their pack, her heart was screaming in disgust and agony. They had left Gnome behind. They had left him to die. To be killed. And that was on her. Unable to look at anyone in the eye, Linue continued to force one shaky paw in front of the other, until they came to the lake. While it wasn't as protected as the forest, they would be able to monitor only three sides instead of four - keeping the water at their backs. She also knew of a number of empty dens that were in the area. Unfortunately, they never made it to a den. With a sharp cry from Indonesia, Linue turned to find that the pregnant mother-to-be had collapsed just as they came to the lake's edge. Weiss froze. Kiowa's head whipped around to find Linue, and they wordlessly agreed on what needed to be done. Leaving Kiowa and Weiss to care for Indo, she quickly addressed the rest of the pack. As her eyes wandered over each of them, she noticed how pale and sick they all looked. "We need two wolves to do a sweep of the area, and then to keep watch. Anything that moves - and I do mean anything - is a threat right now." She turned her back to them so that she could go to Indo's side, but paused when she heard no movement coming from behind her. Her pack seemed rooted in spot - even Farley and Foxx. When she spoke next, she somehow managed to keep her voice steady. Still, her eyes were full of sadness that she couldn't reel in. "We had to leave Gnome behind. There was no saving him. But I'll be damned if we let his death be in vain. Indo's pups are our priority, and we need to make sure this place is safe, because she won't have the protection of a den." She hoped that would jump start all of them - herself included. She finally made it back to Indonesia's side. "How is she?"

[Ivv]

Foxx could hear the murmurs ahead of them, the whispers throughout the pack. Indonesia, despite her pain, kept insisting that Weiss go back for Gnome. Weiss would have, too, had it not been for Indo's crippling state. Foxx knew that, if Indo and Weiss were still the alphas, things would have been done differently. Perhaps it would have been more noble, had they all leapt into action, but Linue's mind worked too logically. She knew the cost of saving Gnome, and the price had simply been too steep. Perhaps Foxx would have felt different if the wolf who'd been attacked had been Linue or Farley — well, he knew it would have been different if it had been his brother or sister — but that hadn't been the case. Foxx had never cared much for Gnome at all. He was a wolf from the Vex Pack's state of limbo between Wolfe's reign and now he and Linue's. Foxx would have never felt for him as he did with the others. It was a life lesson; to be strong or be left by the way-side. But, as the whispers grew louder, Foxx knew the pack might take it more gravely. See Linue's decision as monstrous rather than necessary. It would be easy to lay blame on her, or even himself for following. Linue gave out orders, and Foxx looked at Farley and Channing as they drew in closer to him. "We don't have the numbers for a full perimetre sweep." He acknowledged in a low voice. "Go no further than a hundred yards out. Be quick, but be thorough and go often. We'll be on alert for a while yet," he concluded. Life as a loner taught Foxx that safety only lasted moment to moment. Their numbers were down. They couldn't risk a howl to the Alpha Pack, not even as a warning of the Tsunami Wolves. They were alone with their backs to a wall. They had to stay close, stay alert... Channing left first, going East, Farley nodded to his brother and moved West. Foxx returned to the train they'd just taken to get to the lake, checking for foreign scents which may have followed them...

[AKwolf]

OOC I took liberties with Indo. If things are supposed to go differently let me know and I will edit it. :)

Weiss felt something lodged in his throat as the pack moved further and further from Gnome…from where Gnome’s carcass undoubtedly now lay. The thought caused his stomach to lurch and Weiss slowed just as his throat convulsed and he forcefully held back the impulse to vomit. His throat felt hot with strain, dry and painful. His gut was knotted so tight with guilt that he felt it would never undo itself and each step he took was weighed down by a thousand pounds of illness and wretched despair. He felt something eating him from the inside out and each time he blinked there was no flash of darkness behind his eyelids…only the red of Gnome’s blood and the flash of his stricken eyes. His head was reeling, and in his mind he could still hear Gnome’s screams.

They would haunt him forever.

Once the pack had reached a reasonably far distance from those fucking monsters, Weiss had fallen apart. His eyes had glazed as he stopped, staring blankly at the ground with an empty haze to his expression. The breakdown had only lasted a few seconds, but in his mind an eternity crawled by. No sooner had Kiowa and Linue turned to look at him, their faces wrought with heavy despair as they tried to think of something to say, than Weiss had glanced back up, turned to look at Indo, and crept silently to her side and nudged her along.
Something was dying inside of him. It was being eaten by the guilt and the shame at having turned his back on his best friend…leaving him to die. Leaving Gnome to die. The thought which hurt the most was that Gnome never would have left Weiss.
And yet Weiss had left him…

His mind kept reasoning that Indo was more important, that his pups were more important…but a furious and wrathful voice in the back of his mind kept asking if Weiss could have saved him. Could the pack have saved him? Hindsight was a cruel devil. In the heat of the moment Weiss had known there was no way to save both Gnome and Indo. But now his mind was shaving corners and running scenarios and the screaming in Weiss’ head was vicious.

His reprieve was Indonesia. Every ounce of him was dedicated to seeing her safe. After his pause, after that glazed look took him to a very distant and horrible place, after he felt a part of him die, Weiss stayed by Indo’s side and ushered her along. Every sound, every breath of wind, every snap and crunch of the forest caught his attention. He would perk his ears and snap his head up, scanning the forest for any threat. Despite his sickened state, despite the trembling in his gut, despite the ache which threatened to tear him down, Weiss kept a sharp eye on Indo and the surrounding area.
After his lapse, Weiss seemed to harden somewhat. As if, in that weakened moment, he had stuffed something very deep down inside himself and forced himself to then move. His body was shaky yet resolved, his posture alert to the world around him and his mate, but his eyes were distantly clouded. Here…yet somehow different. The roguish glint was gone, the incorrigible laughter was gone. The smile which always loomed in his expression…gone.
Dead…

Indo was in noticeable pain and with each step her discomfort grew. Weiss could see the emotional despair, the guilt, building up inside her like a poison. He tried to speak to her in hushed tones, he tried to keep her mind from stabilizing and biting down on what had just taken place. But Indo was stubborn, and her conscious was fracturing under the weight of what she had done…what they all had done. She kept insisting he go back, but he continually refused. He would not leave her side.
And then, with a sharp intake of breath followed by a agonizing cry, she collapsed.

Weiss felt his breath leave him in one violent spasm as his stomach twisted. A mad rush of worry overtook him as Indo’s yelp echoed in his ears. Something was very wrong. He didn’t know how he knew…he just did. Her voice was full of an unnatural pain which caused his blood to run cold.
With a quick lurch, Weiss was by her side, nuzzling her cheek as she gasped and gritted her teeth. He whispered ignorance to her, all those hollow “just breath” and “it will pass” and “you will be okay.” The last was a comment which wrenched his insides.

She wasn’t okay.

Her face contorted into a silent agony and Weiss felt a cold sense of gravity overcome him. They needed to do something; she couldn’t give birth here in the open. His head shot up, eyes quickly scanning for a nearby hollow or log or something. Nothing was close enough, and Weiss doubted she would even be able to crawl to anything even if something had been near. Bowing his head back down, he pressed his forehead against hers in the only comfort he could give. There was nothing he or Kiowa could do. Indo wasn’t moving from here. The rest was up to her.
Weiss heard that unnatural pain in her gasps, a pain which radiated from her and made his fur stand on end. This just wasn’t right…something was going wrong. Looking up, Weiss locked eyes with Kiowa and he could see the affirmation in her eyes. She felt it too. The wrongness…

“How is she?”
Weiss moved his eyes to Linue and they spoke more than his words would. “Something’s not right, Linue.” For as distressed he felt on the inside, his words were strangely firm. He cleared his head, knowing that to panic would only cause more harm. However, he was at a loss over what to do. Indo couldn’t be moved, and by now she was in a state which only she could pull herself through. The pups were coming…

And then the scent of blood crept into the air. Weiss was looking at Linue when the smell crawled to his nose. His expression froze with a terrible sort of haunting realization at what was happening.

Noiselessly, Weiss turned back to Indo. He laid down beside her and laid his neck and head over her shoulders, hugging her close and providing the only comfort any of them could offer. He was behind her as to not impede directly with the birthing, but in her state he wondered if she would be able to even lift her head between the convulsions of her uterus and the clenching muscles of her body. He felt her shudder and heard her breath hiss.
Weiss clenched his jaw and pleaded in unspoken thoughts.

No…

No…

[meg]

The pack's mood was heavy throughout the walk to the lake. Gnome's cries of agony had followed them either until they were too far to hear them anymore, or the wolves had finally given him death. A knot had been clenched in Farley's stomach through the whole trek, and it was obvious at their pace that Indo was having a lot of trouble. They shouldn't have been moving right now, and they shouldn't be a member down right now. Gnome's death weighed heavily upon Farley, as Gnome had been out scavenging for a lemming for Farley when he had been attacked. Farley also felt guilty... as a pack, shouldn't they have tried valiantly to save him? Foxx and Farley were silent as they took up the back of the pack.

Their trek slowed up greatly even more and Farley craned his neck up to find the problem, when Indo cried out in pain and fell to the ground. Freezing, Farley stood wide-eyed and clearly in distress. Now? Really? We need two wolves to do a sweep of the area, and then to keep watch. Anything that moves - and I do mean anything - is a threat right now. Linue promptly turned and went to Indo's side, as well as Kiowa and Weiss.

When nobody moved, Linue shot a glance over to the rest of them. We had to leave Gnome behind. There was no saving him. But I'll be damned if we let his death be in vain. Indo's pups are our priority, and we need to make sure this place is safe, because she won't have the protection of a den. Farley's muscles moved to spring into action, but Foxx stopped him momentarily. We don't have the numbers for a full perimeter sweep. Go no further than a hundred yards out. Be quick, but be thorough and go often. We'll be on alert for a while yet. Channing darted away towards the East, and Farley watched him go, finding a new sense of respect for the wolf.

Giving Foxx a nod, Farley shot from his spot to the west at high speed. Once he hit about a hundred yards he arced around, nose sniffing and tail flagged up if any intruders were to come to his nose or especially if he saw them. Farley wasn't even sure if Syl or Baron would make it past him happily right now, with the way the adrenaline was pumping through him, coupling with the anger and guilt that he had building up inside of him as well. Running like he never had before, Farley made it back to the pack thoroughly winded, but long before Channing. Huffing, Farley froze once he stepped onto the scene. Indo was on the ground, and Linue and Kiowa were almost coaching her. She was giving birth right in the open.

Weiss had his head and neck wrapped around her shoulders comfortingly, and the smell of blood hit Farley like a brick wall. He pulled his ears back and stopped in his tracks, his eyes searching for Foxx. Once their eyes met Farley made a beeline for his brother. "Something's wrong, isn't it? I didn't find anything. They didn't follow." he spoke what he wanted to know first, following up with a report on the fact that he had found nothing. Those wolves were just playing fucking games with their pack, and the thought pissed Farley off.

"I feel like we should leave, but I know we can't." he said, jerking his head towards Indo and the others while she gave birth. Farley knew it was a private thing from pure instinct, and all his instincts told him not to go near her and bother her, but they had to stay close for safety.

[Flint]

""Go no further than a hundred yards out. Be quick, but be thorough and go often. We'll be on alert for a while yet," Nodding, he headed off to do a perimeter sweep.

It wasn't long until he returned back to the pack. His head hung lower then it did before and his steps felt heavy. The entire pack seemed edgy just by the way they stood and as he glanced he saw Indo laying on the ground not far from him with what it seemed a barrier of wolves protecting her. Swallowing hard, he knew what was going on. They were too slow to get her to another cave and the poor pregnant wolf had collapsed and was giving birth in the open. A frown creased his gray muzzle as he continued closer to the group.

Heading over to Farley, he gave him a light nudge on his shoulder to get his attention before turning to Foxx. "Who was that wolf who was here before - who was talking with Kiowa? I found him a little ways away from here. He was dead." He paused, shrugging and glancing over to Linue who wasn't far off. "He wasn't killed, I think he was sick. He had blood running from his nose and around his face." His voice was hushed so only the few wolves around him could hear. He was unsure as to what kind of a relationship they had with the loner, but from the way the last meeting went he was sure it wasn't a very good one. "That was all I saw though. No one followed us."

Deciding to change the subject, he made a quick glance over to Indo who was giving birth before shying away. He felt unnatural standing around while she was laying in the open, but as vulnerable as she was right now they had to stay and guard her. For the sake of the puppies and for her life. "I feel like we should leave, but I know we can't." He shrugged his shoulders, but nodded. "I agree, but she's relying on us to protect her."

[Ivv]

There hadn't been pups in the pack since Foxx, Farley, Linue, and Loupe were born. They'd been the only pups the Vex Pack had ever seen, and the term The Vex Pack Pups had been attached to them since that moment, even now as they stood as adults — as leaders — in the pack. They didn't know what birth looked like. They only knew it from the distant memory of their own birth, which was darkness for a long time, then playfights, mischief, and rules. Foxx had no idea what the mother endured in order to birth, but just as everyone else could sense it, he too knew something was wrong. "Something's wrong, isn't it? I didn't find anything. They didn't follow." Farley said, the moment he approached Foxx. Then added a hesitant, "I feel like we should leave, but I know we can't." Channing had just arrived then, and agreed with Farley. Foxx nodded, though his orange-brown eyes seemed distant. As though he was looking over the horizon at something particular. In reality, the distant look in his eyes betrayed his thoughts exactly. He felt his body stiffen in anticipation. They weren't out of the woods just yet, and Foxx had a nagging feeling that Indo might not make it. It was a gut feeling that told him to put some distance between himself and the situation. To keep himself calm. "Indo doesn't need us all crowding around her. We have no place over there with her, so we'll wait it out." Foxx said in a steady tone. She needed air, but there was only so much they could give her. Beyond that, she needed peace that the pack simply did not have. And there wasn't a wolf on this island who could make it okay. "Who was that wolf who was here before - who was talking with Kiowa?" Channing said after another moment. "Hm? Oh, Demolition. He's like the island rat." "I found him a little ways away from here. He was dead. He wasn't killed, I think he was sick. He had blood running from his nose and around his face." Demolition had looked rough when he'd appeared to speak with Kiowa, and Foxx didn't doubt that had played a major part in his death. First Tater, then Demolition... Whether or not Two was alive was looking more and more grim, but Foxx couldn't let himself care. Not anymore. "That was all I saw though. No one followed us." Channing finished, then the three males went quiet. They had physical safety for now from danger. All that was left was for the cards of fate to fall where they may, and let Indo have her pups finally...

[Bama]

She could feel every breath. She could hear every gutwrenching yelp of pain through clenched teeth. She could see every tremor that shook her small frame. What she couldn't seem to grasp, was that it was actually her own self who was going through it. This was not another female in labor, this was not some stranger in agonizing pain, this was Indo, herself, holding back the louder cries that threatened to give away their position to those who would take advantage of them. Even in her weakest moment, Indo was trying to think of others and the safety of the pack...not yet fully comprehending that it was her own safety she should be worrying about. Her entire pregnancy had been full of pains, nausea, headaches, etc...but nothing had prepared her for this. It felt as if her stomach was being ripped apart, like her intestines were melting away, and her poor helpless puppies were suffering because of it. Perhaps that was what made her pain so terrible; the fact that she knew they felt it as well. Instincts told her this was wrong and the fact that her own pups lives were at risk because of her was what finally brought her to her knees. Sure, it hadn't actually been her fault...but never the less, she would blame herself. Mother Nature and Father Lupus were trying to teach Indonesia one last lesson before she left this world. How to let go. How to understand that whether it's your fault or not does not matter in the end. You have to let go. As another tremor shook her body though, Indonesia knew...she wasn't ready to let go, not just yet. Not before... Her eyes opened as she peeled in a shaky breath. The memories flooded back to her. Not just of recent events, but of her entire lifetime. It was more of a slideshow of moments than it was a flash. The most prevalent came from the time of Wolfe's death and all that had come to pass between then and this very moment. The growth, the destruction, the lives, the deaths, the smiles and tears, the confusion and the assuredness, the right and the wrong. It all washed over her in a flood of emotions. The one emotion that stuck with her most though, was the love. In every moment of pain, in every moment of anguish, tears, disgust, hatred, aggression, confusion...even regret...in all of it, there was still love. There was still hope. Even now. Where there was love, there was still hope. An understanding soon exemplified by a warm presence scooting in behind her. Weiss. She didn't even need to smell him. She could feel him. His presence. It was the same presence that had comforted her throughout her troublesome pregnancy. It was the first comfort she had allowed in after Wolfe's death, it was the best comfort she could ever ask for. Weiss had become her rock. It was odd how the roles had switched. When he had first come to the pack, he had been the one in need of help. Even during their time together, in the pack, he had needed her aid, her comfort and her compassion. Now, it was she who was looking to him for all those things. It was Weiss who was the strong one now. For the briefest of moments, she allowed her head to relax into his shoulder. It was a breath of solace, the milisecond she needed to breath the strength back into her tired body and prepare her for the hours ahead which she knew would be her last. Indo could remember Zarreth telling her that when it was her time, she would know. She hadn't understood then, in her younger years, how that could be possible. She had struggled with the idea of dying, but she was young then. Now, with a few more years under her pelt, Indonesia simply considered herself lucky enough to die in the company of those she had known and loved for so long. Indo was surrounded by all that she had both accomplished and failed at. And yet, in the end, the failures didn't seem as bad as she once thought them. Afterall, what greater accomplishment is there than to simply, or perhaps not so simply...be loved? Had Gnome died "loved?" The thought intensified Indonesia's physical pain. Her gut wrenched at the very thought, causing the rest of her body to shudder. Had he known how much they cared? Had he known how, in that moment, Indo had actually regretted getting pregnant and wished it was her instead of him. She would have given her life for him...as she was sure Weiss and many of the others would have had circumstances been different. Indo suddenly felt incredibly selfish. Here she was, surrounded and protected by those she loved and those that loved her...while Gnome was out there, dying, all alone. Whether he knew it or not though, he would soon feel her motherly warmth and see her warm smile again. Indonesia would not be far behind her dear friend. At this thought though, her mind turned to Weiss once more. He would not recieve the same solace as she would. He would not see Gnome for a long while still, and would have to face parenthood alone. Of course, the others would help him as much as they could...but it wouldn't be the same. His mate would not be there to encourage him and guide him. Again, a pang of guilt wrench through her gut as she realized what she was going to be putting him through. Oh Weiss... the quiet breath whispered out. There was no tone with it. It wasn't a concious decision, though she would have wanted to hide those feelings from him for fear of making him more upset. Her body was so worn out at this point that it could barely manage the whispered words, much less any tone to ring out along with it. To him, it would merely be his name. At this though, her mind moved on once more...to the rest of the pack. Kiowa would be the last of the original Vex wolves. Poor Channing was so new to the pack and was getting hit with one thing after another. Sweet Farley would have to watch another part of his past leave him behind once more. Foxx...of course he would persevere, he might not even show any feeling, their rift might be so wide that it would not phase him on the surface...but Indo would still miss him, and she knew that atleast the puppy in him remembered the connection they had once had. She remembered. Linue. The only daughter Indonesia would ever know. There was so much she still had to say...to all of them, before she left, and unlike so many others...Indo was lucky enough to have the opportunity. But first, she had to focus on the most precious obligation she had ever been bestowed, the birthing of her and Weiss' pups. No sooner had she begun to focus on this one issue and it alone, than the urge to push came to her instinctually. We're not the same, dear, as we used to be. The seasons have changed and so have we. There was little we could say, and even less we could do To stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you. Five hours and three pups later, Indonesia was spent. She had nothing else to give. Her muscles had given their last. She had lost a lot of blood. Her sight was growing hazy and she could feel herself weakening. The small female couldn't even lift her head to look at the innocent little pups she and her mate had created. A realization hit her like a falling tree just then. If she wasn't here, how would her pups feed?! Kiowa was to old, Linue was to young...the rest of the pack were male and couldn't produce milk! As soon as the "tree" came at her though, a calming wave washed it away. Rue. Weiss... her soft voice called to her mate who had been attending to their newborn pups in her stead. Weiss...you have...you have to take them to Rue. The last time they had seen her she was showing. Perhaps she had had another litter. Ask for...for her help...as a last favor...to...a friend. It was hard for her to talk now. Indonesia needed large breaths to get even the smallest amount of oxygen into her lungs. Deep gulps also invaded her speech as she tried to swallow down what she thought was her own saliva...but was actually small traces of blood. She licked the tip of Weiss' nose (it was the farthest she could reach without having to struggle to raise her head). She could see the struggle of his mind playing across his eyes. It's okay...I don't...don't have to see them. I...I know...I know they're beautiful. Indo could see the pain in his eyes. He wanted so badly to help. Just like her though, he would have to learn to let go. She needed to help him let go. To help him understand. She needed to help all of them let go. I'm happy...Weiss. We've...we've done good. She tried to smile a bit. A small rush of air out her nostrils was the best she could manage for a laugh. Hopefully it would do a bit for him though. She had tried to speak like he used to...back when he had first joined the back. It sounded like something he would have said. Ya done good soldier. The thought of his little comments warmed her heart. They had done well. Teach them...Weiss...you...know so much. Teach them...to laugh...let them...let them be as...carefree...as you. Indo's eyes seemed to haze over a bit, a glossy cover laced through her chocolate brown eyes. Whether it was caused by her memories or her body actually giving into the death that awaited her was unknown. She could see them playing in the snow that one winter. All of them, Weiss, Kye, Linue! Oh what a glorious winter day that had been. Live Weiss. I'll...I'll be there. Just...live. There was nothing more to say. He could feel the rest. She could feel what he wanted to say. She could feel him choking on the words. I...I know. I love you too. Looking past him, she could see the rest of the pack. Her eyes connected with Kiowa first. Raising her snout in the slightest, Indo signaled her over. Kiowa bumped heads with her lightly and the two held that position. Eyes closed, Indo breathed deeply, a muffled cough interupting their moment. Barely noticeable bits of blood sprayed to the ground. Nothing needed to be said here. Kiowa, though not condemned to death, would not have as long of a wait as the others did to be reunited with her friend again. They had spent much of Indo's lifetime together. She had learned so much from her friend...and she would miss her dearly. We bury our love in the wintery grave A lump in the snow was all that remained. But we stayed by its side as the days turned to weeks And the ice kept getting thinner with every word that we'd speak. Indo sent a soft rush of air through her own nostrils into Kiowa's as her head laid back down against the ground with a bit of a thud...she had lost almost all strength in her muscles, but had enough air left to play a bit of a little game with Kiowa that they used to play back when the Vex Pack had first found its ground. A gentle smile crept across her face (as much as she could muster) before her eyes scanned for the next wolf she had to say goodbye to. Her eyes connected with Channing...but she did not call him over. What needed to be said between them could be seen in her increasingly hazy, but firm and kind eyes. Stay strong. Fight the good fight. It's worth it. They held the connection all pack members do, but she had nothing else to give him. Farley was next. His eyes almost seemed to avoid hers, as if he was worried that if he came over, he would suck out the last breath she had, or that if he breathed on her that would be it and she would be gone. In that soft motherly tone she always used with him, she called him over with a word softer than a whisper. Farley... It was gentle and kind, but obviously weak. Oh my dear Farley she thought. She knew what she wanted to say to him, but it sounded so corny. Then again, corny wasn't all that bad. Follow...your...your heart. Sometimes you...you have to quiet...quiet yourself...to hear it. She rested a moment, listening to anything he wanted to say in return, but on her dying day...she would be sure to get the last word in. Indo took in a deep breath, hoping to not be forced to pause in this statement. It was important he hear it. I'm proud of you...Farley. Your father would be too. Indonesia didn't have the strength for that part, but hopefully he felt it. He didn't need her reassurance to know that. And when spring arrived We were taken by surprise when the floes under our feet bled into the sea And nothing was left for you and me. Farley bumped shoulders with Foxx when he took his leave from Indo, sending the wolf over to her that, in her minds eye, was still that scrawny, ambitious, little fire ball with a flower in his mouth at her paws. A cowlick from her tongue to his head had dissolved that conversation. What was it that had dissolved their relationship? In her heart, it had not dissipated. He was still a part of her heart, and she would still have given her life for him...anyday. Though her stubborness had not permitted her to look at him as an alpha yet, she had never denied the fact that he would one day make a great one. If he had anything to say, she let him speak first. It was how they had always worked. But then, when faced with death, sometimes even the wittiest of wolves can't find the right words to say. The world...may implode, and...and the stars...fall from the sky...and still...still you will stand firm. The pack needed his strong will. They needed his fire. Maybe it didn't come at a time when she had wanted it to, and maybe it burned to brightly at times, but it was certainly a strength the pack needed. But don't...don't be afraid...though. Let...let them...let them in...dear Foxx. He was growing. One way or another, today, tomorrow, or years from now...he would either understand, or eventually come to know her words. He was a leader now. Her eyes closed again. She listened if he responded, and if not, shared a last look with him. Make us proud Foxx. She whispered the next name to him, no longer able to lift her head to find the next member of the pack. Soon enough though, Linue came to her side. Indonesia's eyes opened to the beautiful young wolf she had become. No matter what had happened over the past few months, Indo hoped she would remember all the good that had transpired between them. The laughter, the wisdom...the love. I'm sorry. It was the only thing her weak voice could whisper out at first. For so many things. I'm sorry I won't...be there...Linue. For everything, the growth and change of the pack, Linue's own pups, all of it. I'm...sorry...I wasn't there. That I didn't support you when you needed it. That I lost faith in you. Don't...don't loose that...that balance. You may...may trip...here and...there. Like a flowing stream that winds it way down the mountainside. There are many bumps along the way, but it doesn't loose its focus. It makes its way to the river and flows down to the ocean. But stay the...the course. Indonesia's breaths were getting sharper now. It actually hurt to breath. She wasn't even sure she was making sense anymore. It was hard to concentrate on talking. A small but sharp whine escaped as she clenched her teeth. No! She wasn't done! Indo's eyes opened again, the pain obvious, but the determination and strength burning bright. You can lean...can lean on them...Linue. Let the...pack...let them give you strength. We're not the same, dear, And it seems to me There's nowhere we can go With nothing underneath. And it saddens me to say But we both know, well, it's true That the ice was getting thinner Under me and you. The ice was getting thinner Under me and you. Indonesia ghasped now. Her eyes went wide as the pain took over her body. It was time for her to let go. She had said what she needed to, seen all her loved ones for the last time. The small female had nothing else to give. But oh how she wanted to! It was never enough was it? No matter how many years you lived. No matter how many words you said. Death always comes to soon. She had said she didn't need to...but she did want to see her pups. She wanted to know they had survived. Indonesia wanted to see them grow, she wanted to sit by Weiss and laugh at their antics, watch Linue teach them to hunt, see the pack grow and change as she enjoyed aging with her mate. No being on earth could deny that they wanted life. Given the choice between the two, there's no doubt as to which she would have chosen. But it wasn't her choice. Indonesia realized, there was no right and wrong here, there was no decision to make. She simply had to let go. The blood flow from her mouth increased, her coughing grew harsher. Weiss. Her voice, now rhaspy, wrenched out his name in a cough. He came to her side (she didn't know if he had even left), his warmth connecting with her body again. Let them...let them know...how much I...I loved them. Given the choice, she would have gladly die to ensure they lived. I've...I've gotta go now. She smiled oh so gently, through the pain and blood. They were calling her away, impatient to have her join them. Her face grew more serene as the cold took over and the pain began to fade. I love you...All of you... Her whisper fell into the wind with her last breath. She was now flying on the breeze with those who had gone before her, melting into the woods, streams and mountains with all those loved ones that had left her behind. Now, it was her turn, to look on with a smile from afar as she awaited them. Indo couldn't deny the fact that she hoped it would be a while before she saw them again. There was plenty of life left to live.

This post has been edited by Bama on Oct 28 2009, 07:50 AM

[AKwolf]

He could feel her letting go; inch by inch, breath by breath, thought by thought. And with each second she pulled away, he felt his heart breaking piece by piece. He wanted to stop the world, he knew what was coming surely as the two of them had always known one another’s inner most thoughts and desires. He could hear her breath soften, not in comfort but in realization and acceptance. He felt the shaking of her body shift from one of fright and disturbance to the shudders of pain…of death. He was losing her. She was leaving him. Weiss pressed his head into Indo’s neck as if he could somehow hold her soul inside, insulate and preserve her. That ignorant boyish part of him said the pain would pass and the blood would lessen if she could just hold on. But the older, wiser part of him knew better. This was not a fight she could win, and Indo knew that and accepted it long before Weiss knew, and far before he would accept it. He couldn’t accept this. Indo was his world, she was his anchor and his love. She was the one wolf he knew understood him better than he understood himself. She could read the minutest twitches of his face, the faintest shadow in his eyes, as if he were speaking to her. A smile meant everything between them and ran deeper than the dearest of loving whispers. She pulled him to her like gravity. Weiss could not help but love her unconditionally. Many would say such things in their lifetimes. Many would claim they could not help but be attracted to someone or love someone…but this was different. Weiss didn’t know how or why nor did he understand the concept of soulmates…all he knew was that his favorite sound was her laugh. They were supposed to take on the world. They were supposed to grow old. They were supposed to sleep their lives away in ignorance and bliss. They were supposed to be together, no matter their future. If Weiss had known anything now, if he knew just one truth, it was that he and Indo would never be apart. He couldn’t see a future without her in it. It simply didn’t exist. The thought of being alone…it was too much to bear. Because without Indo there was only loneliness. If he had to turn to look beside himself one day, and if saw nothing but air and emptiness knowing she should have been there. It would destroy him. He couldn’t bare such a hole in his life. She was supposed to always be by his side; he was always supposed to protect her. She was his purpose. Like a lovebird whose mate had died, Weiss felt he would grow sick and perish without her. “Oh Weiss…” Her voice was so soft and vulnerable that all he wanted to do was hold on to her and cradle her. He wanted to reach inside of her and shelter her soul. He wanted to be so close to her that the world couldn’t see her…couldn’t take her from him. He felt her shudder and flinch as contractions wracked her body. He could sense her resolve, her will to live long enough to see their pups into the world. Indo would not go unless it was on her terms. And as their pups were born into the world, Weiss felt time sheering away. He felt the energy Indo was having to put into her labor in order to birth the pups and as the hours pressed on he began to shiver in dread and uncontrollable sorrow. This should have been the happiest day of their lives... As the pups were born, Weiss moved in order to tend to the small and wet pups. Indo couldn’t even manage to lift her head to tend to them, and so Weiss pulled them in to warm them and lick away the blood. He lay cradling Indo, the pups between them. His fragile world was all right there, slipping away with each silent moment. “Weiss…” His name was painful to him. Would this be the way he would always remember her saying his name? And what was worse…was the pride and happiness beneath the tired agony in Indo’s voice. The delirious elation at having given birth to their pups…that motherly pride despite her dying body and the anguish it was in, it ripped open his heart. Her happiness caused him a pain so deep and wretched that he felt physically ill. It was beyond anything he had ever felt. It was beyond pain. But he couldn’t tell her…he wouldn’t let her die without that happiness, without that light. Even if it was false. Weiss held the three pups close to him, burying them in his fur for warmth and in doing so, shielding them from view. “Weiss...you have...you have to take them to Rue. Ask for...for her help...as a last favor...to...a friend.” The morbid understanding was surreal and heart wrenching. Indo was putting into words the fact that she would not live to care for their pups and Weiss gritted his teeth against a wave of sobs. Both for Indo…and their pups. Seeing his pain, but not recognizing the full reason behind it, Indo reached out slightly, it was all she could muster. Weiss trembled as he leaned forward and felt Indo’s touch. Even now she was trying to comfort him. “ It's okay...I don't...don't have to see them. I...I know...I know they're beautiful.” And they were… And soon, Indo would see just how beautiful. Weiss leaned in and pressed his head against her neck, closing his eyes and breathing the agony in and out. “Just like their mother. They took after you. They’re…they’re all girls.” His voice cracked as he spoke about the pups, the pride and hurt meshing into a low and broken sound. Yet there was love and happiness there, too, beneath the anguish of his voice. And when he looked up at Indo he could see the flicker of a smile ghosting across her eyes. “I’m happy…Weiss. We’ve…we’ve done good.” He recognized her attempt to comfort him, and despite himself a sad smile crept across his lips. “Teach them...Weiss...you...know so much. Teach them...to laugh...let them...let them be as...carefree...as you.” Carefree…Weiss felt a stab of loss at that word. How could he be that wolf ever again? Indo was the reason he felt so carefree…she was that part of him. He met her eyes and the message was clear and distraught, no matter how he tried to mask his feelings from her she would always know. Don’t leave. He knew as well as she that there was nothing she could do, that if she had a choice she would live. But he couldn’t help it. Losing her was tearing him apart and pulling all his raw, stupid, and ignorant emotions forward. “Live, Weiss. I’ll…I’ll be there. Just…live.” He held her dying eyes in his own wracked gaze and choked on the words he needed to say. I love you. I love you so much. “I…I know.” They both had always known. As Indo called to the pack, Weiss stayed by her side. Tending to the pups cradled at his chest and shivering in turmoil and guilt. The pups were silent. Weiss nosed them feebly, checking them over and feeling them for warmth and life. Rori, Suuri, and Kesari…those were to be their names. Three girls. Those had been the names he and Indo had decided upon should females be born. Three perfect, beautiful girls…all cradled in their father’s embrace. All silent… Indo gasped and Weiss’ eyes shot to her. A spasm took her body as she coughed blood and her legs went ridged. Weiss stiffened and curled into her, resting his head on her shoulders and holding her tight next to him and their pups. “Weiss. Let them…let them know…how much I…I love them.” He couldn’t hold back the tears as he spoke, his voice cracking with sorrow. “Every day.” He would have told them every day… “I’ve…I’ve gotta go now.” Weiss whined and pressed his face into her neck, holding on to the seconds. “I love you.” His voice was soft and betrayed an insurmountable pain. “Tell them I love them, too,” he added just as she drew her last breath. She would see them soon. Their pups. Indo passed, and Weiss buried his head in her fur as sobs convulsed through his body, letting go of all the anguish. It was too much to hold inside any longer. Everything he had loved, had hoped for…it was all gone. He couldn’t comprehend this level of grief and at that moment Weiss knew he would never get up, he would never leave her and his pups. He couldn’t leave them…they were his to protect… And then something moved, softly against his chest. At first he didn’t feel it, but it squirmed and pressed itself against him until he lifted his head and gazed down at the three pups clutched between his front legs. He had been holding them so tenderly, like fragile dolls, afraid to stir them as if they were merely sleeping. But as he looked down at the three, one moved and the soft, frightened whimper of the pup grasped onto something deep inside him and pulled him back up from despair. One of them was alive. Just one… A desperation overtook him as he realized he still had one daughter. One pup who needed him. The last part of his life left. He needed to protect her, save her. Instinct grabbed him as the will to do anything in order to keep his pup alive forced him from the ground. He stood then paused, a horrid wave of anguish crashing deep in his gut as he realized this would be the last time he would touch Indo. Be near her... The realization was enough to bring him to his knees, but his daughter's nearly inaudible whines forced him forward. He brushed against Indo one last time and silently promised to protect their daughter. He then bent down and nosed the two dead pups in close to Indo…they were with Lupus now and Indo was there with them. They needed her just as the one left here needed him. Delicately, Weiss took the pup in his mouth and turned his pain-ridden eyes to Linue, silently reiterating what Indo had asked. Rue and the Alpha Pack were his daughter’s only hope. He would not lose this last piece of Indonesia. And he would go with or without the Vex Pack accompanying him.

[meg]

Farley couldn't help but watch. His eyes hardened to dark, emotionless coals as the hours drew on and Indo had more and more trouble. When finally her pups were delivered and Weiss closed himself over them, blocking them from view, a realization hit Farley square in the nose: Indo was not going to make it through this. The thought brought Farley abruptly to his paws and he began to pace back and forth, eyes darting from Indo, to Foxx, to Channing, to Linue and Kiowa, and he felt like his heart was constricting. They had just lost Gnome, would they really be forced to lose another?

Indo motioned Kiowa forwards and the two came together in a loving embrace. Farley stiffened and avoided looking towards Indo, small tremors coursing through his body. He could barely hear her words, but they floated over to him and finally he let his eyes shift over to her. Farley... He was by her side in a second, and he touched her cheek gently with his nose and rubbed his cheek against hers. Follow... your... your heart. Sometimes you... you have to quiet... quiet yourself... to hear it. A couple tears leaked from his eyes and were absorbed in both of their face fur. "You were the mother I never had, Indo. I will try my hardest to live up to your expectations." he said quietly, listening to her raspy breaths. I'm proud of you... Farley.

Farley's throat squeezed shut and he gave her a light lick on the cheek. He knew his family was proud of him, that his father was proud of him, but it felt completely different coming from Indo. It felt like more, and he whispered a low i love you to her before standing, catching gazes with Weiss and turning away from her. He kept his head low, but bumped shoulders with Foxx, gesturing for him to go up to her. Foxx did, and Farley slowly and shakily eased himself to the ground. He watched quietly as everyone came forwards and talked with the dying mother, and jumped abruptly when she coughed and blood came from her mouth. You could almost visibly see the life draining out of her, and when it finally happened, Farley felt something break away from his heart.

Up until this point, the puppies had been at the back of his mind. Farley watched Weiss quietly as Weiss nosed the puppies, and the absense of crying brought a dread over Farley. Suddenly, Weiss picked one of them up and looked to Linue. Was she alive? Who would feed her? Farley's brain worked on overdrive and the Alpha Pack came to the forefront of his mind. Weiss was going to go to the Alpha Pack. Farley jumped up and closed the gap between himself and Weiss and Linue.

"He won't be able to defend himself alone. I'll go with him. If you guys want, you can either stay or come at a slower pace, it's up to you." if something happened to their only living puppy, Farley didn't even want to know what would happen to the pack, or Weiss for that matter. Weiss had lost many things over the course of a couple months, and Farley wouldn't let him lose his only daughter.

"Please, Linue." he said, blinking a couple times before letting his gaze settle on the puppy that was in Weiss's mouth. She was the Vex Pack's future generation, just like Linue, Foxx, Loupe and himself had been when they were born. He would do anything to protect her.

[Flint]

"Hm? Oh, Demolition. He's like the island rat." He was slightly taken aback as his eyes grew wider in surprise. He knew nothing of this wolfs past and it was a shame that he died with no family or loved ones around him - or any that seemingly cared for that matter. Not that it mattered to him at all, he had more important things to worry about right now.

He continued to stand guard, to watch over Indo as she painfully gave birth to her pups and in the gut of his stomach he felt the knots forming and sickness taking over. As she laid on the ground in pure agony it was only sure that she would not make it through this. It seemed like hours went by before the three pups were born , but he could only hear one whimpering underneath her fur. Indo seemed exhausted and she remained in pain. Her once bright eyes seemed dull and lifeless and her body would soon drift to join lupus. A long sigh escaped him as he turned to see Weiss moving quickly to join her and to comfort her through all of this. From the day he had joined up with this pack it had seemed that nothing good had ever become of them. They had just lost Gnome and now another innocent pack member.

It was hard for him to express his feelings and thats why his eyes stayed clear and unaffected. As twisted and sick as he felt he did his best to hide it. He hated to show emotion and he wanted to stay strong to help the pack through this. Indo gave him a good stare and he felt connected with her even though it only lasted seconds. He knew he was in the right spot and he would continue to help this pack through their hard times they were having. They were a team.

"He won't be able to defend himself alone. I'll go with him. If you guys want, you can either stay or come at a slower pace, it's up to you." His head turned to see Farley talking with Linue and Foxx about Weiss taking the pups to Rue. Turning and heading over to join them, he nodded in agreement. "I'll go too. Safety in numbers and this is something the pack can't risk."

This post has been edited by Flint on Oct 28 2009, 01:24 PM

[Losty]

From the moment when Weiss admitted that something wasn't right, Linue knew what was happening. Like her brothers, she didn't know the birthing process intimately, but everything from the way Indonesia gritted her teeth, to how she twisted in pain was wrong. She wasn't going to live through this. Hot tears burned the back of her eyes as she let her gaze inch its way to Weiss and the three motionless pups cradled delicately between his front paws. They'd left Gnome behind for the survival of Indonesia and her pups, but it wouldn't be enough to save them. What did she have to do? She shot a look up at the sky, daring Lupus to tell her what he wanted of her. It hadn't been worth it. None of it had. Not if it was all going to end like this... Her name was called, and she turned very slowly to see Indonesia looking at her. Her anger washed away in that single moment, she bent her head down low and approached the wolf she'd loved as a friend and mother. Indonesia's voice was frail. "I'm sorry." "Don't." "I'm sorry I won't...be there...Linue." "Indo -" "I'm...sorry...I wasn't there. That I didn't support you when you needed it. That I lost faith in you. Don't...don't loose that...that balance. You may...may trip...here and...there. But stay the...the course," she stammered, and Linue fell at her side, pressing her muzzle against the former alpha's neck. Indonesia drew in another shallow, shakey breath and added, "You can lean...can lean on them...Linue. Let the...pack...let them give you strength." And then she called for Weiss again, and Linue knew it was time to let go. Without another glance, she got up on unstable legs and managed to walk a good distance away from the scene, before she fell onto her rump and began to tremble again. Where had she gone wrong? Had everything been one big mistake? There was a whimper - high-pitched and young. Linue's ears perked up,and she snapped her head around to see Weiss holding a little squirming bundle of fur gently between his jaws. For a moment, she simply stared, unable to comprehend what this meant. But suddenly he was walking directly towards her, followed closely behind by Farley and Channing. The look in Weiss' eyes was full of pain, but the question was unmistakable. He had a pup that needed to be cared for, and no one here was in a position to do it. That left finding a surrogate mother, which would have to be the only wolf they knew who was still producing milk for her own, Rue. Because the alternative wasn't an option; Linue wouldn't lose this one pup. She was why Gnome and Indonesia had died. Farley looked exhausted as he said, "He won't be able to defend himself alone. I'll go with him. If you guys want, you can either stay or come at a slower pace, it's up to you." Channing nodded along. "I'll go too. Safety in numbers and this is something the pack can't risk." "Linue, please," Farley added, and Linue finally broke her stare off from Weiss to see the two males looking determined. Indonesia's words rang strong in her ears; let the pack support you. "We'll go as a pack." She took one last look at Indonesia and her two pups, before she called for them to move out.

[Ivv]

Detached. He could hear wolves buzzing around Indo as though any of it mattered in that moment — like anyone had the power to make a difference now — but Foxx remained sitting where he was away from the group. His eyes looked out in the distance, far away from where they gathered. He drew the crisp air in, let it fill his lungs to capacity, then let them deflate; actively focusing on the feeling of breathing, the rise and fall of his chest... the calm. He could have gone the entire moment alone in his own head, but Farley came to bump his shoulder. His brother looked broken as Foxx's eyes snapped into focus and caught Farley's. Foxx didn't want to, but he couldn't refuse his brother or a dying wolf. That much he knew. "The world may implode, and the stars fall from the sky and still.. .still you will stand firm." Foxx clenched his jaw as he looked down at her. For a moment, it felt as though she was merely looking for the right words to make her last memory be profound. Her words didn't grip him as they did the others, but her sincerity did. She coughed up blood, and everyone jumped in pain and surprise, but Foxx didn't move. Death was not new to him. "But don't be afraid though. Let them... let them in... dear Foxx." He felt like he was being watched, then. As everyone waited for their turn or for his answer, he didn't know. But he remained quiet, his hardened eyes sincere as Indo looked at him one last time before she called for Linue. He tooked a few steps away. He didn't join Farley. He merely stood by himself, just strides from Indo. He returned to a calm state, but was aware of what happened now. One pup. Just one was all that could be saved from everything. That was it, just the one. Indo died, and the pack's focus turned to this one being. Weiss, Farley, and Channing left. Then Linue called for the pack to move out, and Kiowa followed alongside her. Foxx stayed back. Linue looked at him once, more as a matter of safety than anything, but Foxx would stay. The Tsunami Wolves had encountered him twice, and he was sure that if the big brute, Duero, was given the go-ahead, he and Foxx would have already had their duel. If death came, then it was what was meant to happen. But, for now, Foxx would remain seated not far from Indo's lifeless body and wait. He didn't know what he would wait for, but he would wait.

[OOC: I'll post again once the pack moves out.. heh...]