Title: ; passing judgment
Description: tag: Graysen! Again!
Theodore Llewellyn - March 15, 2010 01:56 AM (GMT)
CONNECTING TO GRAYSEN" -starts talking the moment he answers, allowing little time for hellos-
Gray. It's me. And I have something to share with you, but it could, possibly, give you nightmares, so before I continue, you have to be sure that you're man enough to handle what I'm about to say. "
Graysen Daniels - March 15, 2010 02:01 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" I should be offended you're suggesting I'm not. "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 15, 2010 02:04 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" But you're not, so we don't have to worry. -pause- And don't say I didn't warn you. -another pause- It's... A woman. Hotpants. Fishnet stockings. AT least three hundred pounds of pure fat. "
Graysen Daniels - March 15, 2010 02:06 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" Hot damn. You're... um... a fortunate bastard, aren't you? "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 15, 2010 02:07 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" ..............Jesus Christ, man, do you think I'm shagging her, or something? God! That's...way over the weight-limit! So well over it, I... I'm actually feeling ill at the suggestion. "
Graysen Daniels - March 15, 2010 02:09 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" You judgment's been impaired before... "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 15, 2010 02:14 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" Not that impaired! That...whale would crush me with her blubber. "
Graysen Daniels - March 15, 2010 02:31 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" More cushion for the pushin'? "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 15, 2010 02:35 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" -half stifled laugh- You would, wouldn't you? -no longer attempts to stifle laugh- "
Graysen Daniels - March 15, 2010 02:37 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" Theo, I know she's desperate but your mom is just not my type... "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 15, 2010 02:38 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" -long silence- Out of order. "
Graysen Daniels - March 15, 2010 02:53 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" So is spandex on thighs that look like topographical maps. "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 15, 2010 02:55 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" -stubbornly silent for a little longer, gives up, chuckles a little- Yeah. It is. "
Graysen Daniels - March 15, 2010 03:01 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" Though you could use cheesy pick up lines truthfully on such a specimen. 'Whenever you're near the earth trembles.' "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 15, 2010 03:03 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" -laughs- Or if you want to be suggestive about it, 'You look like you could rock my world'. "
Graysen Daniels - March 15, 2010 03:04 AM (GMT)
Theodore Llewellyn - March 15, 2010 03:13 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" -snickers- 'Your love could crush me.' "
Graysen Daniels - March 15, 2010 03:21 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" 'No, that dress doesn't make you look slim.' "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 15, 2010 03:24 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" 'You stand out in a crowd.' "
Graysen Daniels - March 15, 2010 06:58 PM (GMT)
Theodore Llewellyn - March 15, 2010 09:30 PM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" 'Three's a crowd, but you're two.' "
Graysen Daniels - March 16, 2010 01:05 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" 'Yeeeeah... about that outfit... and you, really. I can't even say that I'm sorry I'm not interested.' "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 16, 2010 01:07 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" It does seem like a lot of effort, though. -pauses- That wasn't a... Yeah, you get it. "
Graysen Daniels - March 16, 2010 01:18 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" And by effort, I'm sure you're referring to their ability to cram themselves into that abused article of clothing? "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 16, 2010 01:21 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" Actually, I wasn't, but now that you mention it... -pause- I want to ask her why she does it. No-no, I want to ask her how she does it. It's got to be... welded on. "
Graysen Daniels - March 16, 2010 01:22 AM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" I'll buy you a shot the next time we're out if you do "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 16, 2010 04:52 PM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" -a pause- Well, if a free shot is on the table... -somewhat away from the phone- Hey! Fat girl! ... Yes, you; how do you get into clothes that are so obviously too small for you? Are they just glued on or something? -long pause, back into phone- What's with her friend giving me evils? It was a perfectly reasonable question. -pause- Her own fault. Don't they offer surgery for shit like that? It'd be a good investment. "
Graysen Daniels - March 17, 2010 03:09 PM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" -laughs- Their friends are always the enablers. Protectors of the flab. A disservice to their heifer friends. "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 17, 2010 06:06 PM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" Do you think she keeps her around just to make herself look skinnier? -a pause- She looks really skinny next to that mountain. "
Graysen Daniels - March 17, 2010 09:51 PM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" Clearly. It's like the caution on side-view mirrors - objects may appear hotter than they actually are. When you stand next to someone repulsive you naturally look better. The problem is that the eclipse eventually ends and then, well, let's be honest. Truly attractive people aren't friends with Big Foot. "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 17, 2010 09:59 PM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" -snickers- Or Free Willy, over there. -a pause- Ugly people should be kept in restricted areas. "
Graysen Daniels - March 17, 2010 10:11 PM (GMT)
Theodore Llewellyn - March 17, 2010 10:13 PM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" Perfect! -a pause- It makes you wonder why no one's suggested this before, doesn't it? "
Graysen Daniels - March 17, 2010 10:39 PM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" Some rubbish about human rights. Shouldn't you at least have to look human to qualify? -lengthy pause- People should need a permit to procreate. "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 17, 2010 10:41 PM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" They allow anyone to spawn, these days. When you're the prime minister, you need to put a stop to that. "
Graysen Daniels - March 17, 2010 11:07 PM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" I'd have a bloody epic... what's it called... platform. "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 17, 2010 11:11 PM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" I'd vote for you. -pause- Even if the rest of your platform was shit. -pause- Oh, and legalize drugs while you're at it, will you? "
Graysen Daniels - March 17, 2010 11:41 PM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" -clears throat- As your President... or Prime Minister. Fuck that. I prefer the title Epic Supremeness. As your Epic Supremeness of Awesome, I promise to make ugly people live below ground in the sewers. Reproduction will only occur if you have genetics that should continue a generation, and, naturally, all drugs will be permitted. If God created it, or something in it, you can consume it. "
Theodore Llewellyn - March 17, 2010 11:44 PM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO GRAYSEN" -shuffling followed by distant applause- Bravo! Excellent! You definitely have my vote! "
Graysen Daniels - March 17, 2010 11:47 PM (GMT)
CONNECTED TO THEO" -pause- Do you think it's possible to be a negative on the rating scale? "
