Jokes, Post them here, After all this is the coffee break

[Stickman]

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw
out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to
stay at the same hotel where they spent there
honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to
coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband
left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with
his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a
computer in his room, so he decided to send an email
to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one
letter in her email address, and without realizing his
error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just
returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a
minister who was called home to glory following a
heart attack. The widow decided to check her email
expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she screamed and
fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found
his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen
which read:


To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Arrived

Date: October 16, 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have
computers here now and you are allowed to send emails
to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been
checked in. I see that everything has been prepared
for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing
you then!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is hot down here!

[Stickman]

An American Indian goes into the general store and says, "Me need toilet paper."

The proprietor replies "I have SuperSoft at $6 for four rolls, or I have No-name at $4 for four rolls."

The Indian decides "Me take No-name."

Two weeks later, the Indian returns to the store. He says, "Me have name for No-name toilet paper."

"What is it?" the owner asks.

"John Wayne," says the Indian.

"Why John Wayne?" the owner asks.

"Because it rough, tough, and take no $hit off Indian."

[Stickman]

A southern Baptist minister was completing a temperance sermon. With
great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd
take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the
wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, "And
if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it
into the river."

Sermon complete, he sat down.
The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with
a smile, nearly laughing, "For our closing song, let us sing
Hymn #365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

[Stickman]

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing.
The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances and coaching at this stage of the plan.

"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher.
"Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"

The room was very quiet. Finally, a guy in the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor.
"Is it okay if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

[Stickman]

There are two Quebecois hunters who have been lost in the woods for weeks and they're at death's door.

As they stumble on, hoping for some form of salvation or something similar, they suddenly spot, through the brush, a peculiar looking
tree off in the distance.


As they get closer they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.



"Hey, Jacques" says the first hunter "Dat's a bacon tree!!!


We're saved!!!" "You're right, mon ami!" says Henri. So Jacques goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.



His friend quickly drops down on the forest floor and calls across to the wounded Jacques. "Jacques!! Jacques!! Qu'est-ce qui se passe?"



With his dying breath Jacques calls out... "Ugh, run, mon ami, run!!

Dat's not a Bacon Tree!"



"Dat's......"



"Dat's......"











You're going to love this...






"Dat's......... a.... Ham bush!!

[Stickman]

A blond gets on a plane and goes up to first-class. The flight attendant tells her that she will have to move back; her ticket is not for first class. The blond says, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to California." The main flight attendant is brought in and explains that she will have to move. The blond says, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to California." The attendants tell the pilot. He comes in and looks the situation over. He leans over and whispers something to the blond and she gets up immediately and moves out of first class. The attendants are flabbergasted, "What did you say to her?" "I just told her that this section of the plane doesn't go to California."

[Stickman]

An Irish priest was at the altar one dreary Sunday morning, addressing his congregation, vehement that alcohol was the work of the devil.

"As an example," he stated during his sermon, "If you were to lead a donkey to a bowl of water and a bowl of whiskey, from which would he drink?"

Grizzly old Mick at the back of the church spoke up: "Aye, Father, for sure he'd drink from the water."

The priest, elated, said, "Very good, my son. And can you tell me WHY he'd drink from the water?"

"Sure I can tell ye' why, Father." replied Mick,
"Because he's an A55...."

[Stickman]

Consultant.

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[Stickman]

Following doctors instuctions

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[Stickman]

Job complaints

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[Stickman]

Very blond

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[Stickman]

Resources

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[Stickman]

Shopping

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[Stickman]

Mixing beer with Viagra

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[JohnDeere]

Lol... Good Thread Stick...