Well, about a week ago, I grabbed a set of keys, and was headed for the doctor. I was late, naturally, and didn't think twice. After I latched the door behind me, I checked the keys. My wife had "re-arranged" them on the hooks. What I had in my hand, didn't fit anything in the driveway, PLUS, it didn't have a house key on the ring. I was late, and looked around. All I saw was a 4 pound sledge...........that's the picture.
Which brings me to this:
I've got this backdoor (now, all bent up) in the back of my Ford. The opening is just staring at me. But not as hard as the wife. I head down to Home Depot. They got doors, galore, but not in my size. I ask, "how much to make me one?" They say, "If you have to ask................."
I go to Lowe's. They got doors, too. Not "my" size, though. Hell, that would be too easy. They got pretty doors, they got ugly doors, and they got wooden doors. I buy me a wooden door. I figure, "hell, all I gotta do it cut it to fit, right?" wrong.
Now, I really messed up the frame, gettting in, and so I decided to re=frame it to fit the new door. This new door doesn't have any casing or lock=set, or anything, but I figure I'll deal with all this later. I get out the Milwaulke saw's all and get at it.
A couple hours later, I've got this big ass hole in the wall. My wife is due home in the next few minutes, right? I mean, I really opened up that sucker to fit my new door.
Which would look great painted or stained or something. (My wife figures it would look great up my ass.)
So now what? Well, I pin up a tarp, over the opening, and tell her I decided to put in the door she always wanted. She ain't buying it for a minute..........It reminded me of the time she found some lipstick on my collar after an evening of poker. I told her then, and it seemed to work, "Are you going to believe ME, or your lying eyes."
Not this time. The old door was still in the truck, and she looked at it everytime she walked by. Now, by this time, I had put some beer cans in the trash. I drank them first. And I lost my tape measure under the house or something. I had two more, but by this time, I couldn't remember where. Anyway, there's a lot more..........I just don't have the time right now, on account, my wife's on my ass, and she reads me the burglury reports every morning.
Let your fingers do the walking through the yellow pages!! :D :D
Maybe get used to sleeping in a tent in the backyard.
All i can say is..... Ouch..... ;)