TESS:

[Ash/September. Trio's fourth year]

Dear God, how he loathed that man.

With his stupid, peroxide blonde hair, lame leather jacket, swaggering "bad-boy" stride, Braedan Armstrong was just about the epitomy of everything wrong with the world, in Ash West's eyes at least. And the feeling was more than mutual. Pretty much from first sight the two had loathed each other and their hatred had blossomed throughout their years at Hogwarts together to a point where the two couldn't even set eyes on each other without glaring or exchanging some rather choice words.

But today, Braedan had decided to take it a step further. The prank he had pulled on Ash was one the sixth year boy hated him for, and that he resolved to pay back a hundred fold. Still fuming, he had felt unable to face the monotony of double Potions and had instead stormed up here for a chance to be alone.

Alone. What a stupid thing to think. Ash was always alone. He had no real friends, and only a few aquaintances. Everyone thought of him as odd, or moody, or anti-social. Maybe they were right. Or maybe he was just a lonely little boy terrified of being close to someone.

Either way, it meant that Ash was used to being alone and the loneliness that comes with that. After all, just because he was used to it after so many years practice, didn't make it any easier to live with that gaping hole inside. Though it wasn't as if he wanted people to feel sorry for him. Pity was a horrible word in his opinion, and he wanted it not in the least. He just wanted...

Oh God, who knew what he wanted? To be alone, brooding and broken for forever. To change and become as happy and care-free as others his age but then risk losing the memory of his sister. Neither seemed in the least appealing to him.

So Ash remained solitary, drifting from class to class, never participating but always doing well. He never attended social events or did extra-cirricular activities. And it drove him mad. All of these years of wandering had finally resolved in him that he wanted a change, for better or worse. He needed one, before he lost it completely.

Staring out of the window in the North Tower, he watched groups of school children make their way to classes hurridley, hidden under umbrellas as the rain pelted down around them. Not one of them was alone. He envied them all.

((Kinda rambly and all over the place, but there you go.))


LILA:

Tennessee Williams once wrote: "When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone."

Those words were true to this day. If so many people were lonely, why not be lonely together? You could brood or mope or pout or think on how unfair life was, but at least you weren't alone, at least you had someone around you, someone to be lonely with. You wouldn't be cut off from the world completely and just the simple presence of a body around you made you somehow feel better than being isolated by yourself, to September Carlisle anyway.

Alone.

That one word, meant so much and one could only hope that they were never described as such. To be alone was to exist without being known; to be forgotten by the world; to have no one to mourn your passing. To be alone meant almost certainly that you were lonely and living life that way was a terrible fate in September's eyes, one she worked each day to avoid.

Then again, September was a little different than the rest of the Hogwarts, though not much. Everyone had their problems and fears; so did she. The one thing she feared most in life was having no one. No one to be friends with, no one to love or hate or to even just pass in the hall with a sign of recognition.

She thrived on being around people, even if she didn't necessarily know them, but especially if she did. She was one of those people that had lots of friends, but only a few of them were more than acquaintances. Although her love of being with others was strong, she knew it wasn't safe to get close to many people, because when you did, you got hurt. You had to make sure a person was trustworthy first, if you were going to be good friends with them.

Even so, she did try to reach out to people because even if she wasn't lonely, there might be someone who was and she knew what that was like and it wasn't fun.

Despite all of that, every week September took a day just to be by herself during her free period, because everyone needed time to just think or read and take a break from the rest of the white noise in life. Usually she chose someplace quiet, which included the library and various empty classrooms, sometimes the clock tower, not today though.

Today, there seemed to be people everywhere, probably due to the rain, and as a last resort she headed for the North Tower. Yes, she was well aware that it was so-called, "forbidden", but she'd been up there before. As far as she could tell, the only reason for it to be off limits was because the wood was a little old and if you had allergies the dust would smother you, but other than that it was a peaceful little place, with a nice little window that today would have a soft patter of rain falling against it, in a calming manner.

Long damp blonde bangs, fallen into her eyes -her last lesson had been Care of Magical Creatures and it had started raining toward the end of class- and book in front of her face -okay, so it wasn't the smartest thing to read and walk, especially in the rain, but she didn't see the harm in it. People could see she was walking and side step her and if the book got a little damp, well that's why they invented certain helpful drying spells- she didn't notice at first that there was in fact someone here besides herself. So, when she let her book drop to her side now that she at her destination, she was a little startled to see a boy right in front of her, and in her surprise, she yelped softly, jumping backward.

Upon second glance, she saw she recognized him slightly. He was in her house of Ravenclaw, though not in her year, one above if she wasn't mistaken. From what she'd heard he was more of a loner than anything for different reasons that she'd only heard in rumors, but she wasn't really one to believe in things she hadn't been told by either that person or someone she trusted.

Slowly the surprised look left, in its place a smile appearing instead, as it always did when she was around someone, even if she didn't know really know them at all. "Um...hello." September greeted. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you." She said, moving on to an apology and explanation. "I was reading and didn't notice you there, you just startled me a bit really. Sorry."

{Longish and kind of rambly as well, but I finally replied, didn't I?}


TESS:

Ash quite liked the rain. The rhythm of it. The power. The solitude of every drop, completely independent of the other. He found a kind of hypnotising quality to it, and within a few moments the people below became nothing but a rolling mass of blurred objects making their own seperate ways through the world. His vision was filled with a thousand constantly streaming drops that thumped with surprising force against the window in front of him. Resting his forehead against the pane, he let himself become absorbed in the flow.

That was why he found it such a shock when he heard someone behind him gasp. He started and leapt to his feet and round to face the newcomer. Not very manly-like, but when Ash got involved in his own little world, it wasn't often he got called out of it so abruptly. His eyes met those of a girl, probably younger than him. He didn't recognise her but that meant nothing - he went through the school, head down, never spent any time in the common room, ate lunch on his own and pretty much avoided everyone. There were people he'd shared classes with for years whose names he couldn't recall off of the top of his head. Still, it was possible she knew him. Most people did. He was the "loner." The "freak." The "weirdo." A basic, all round, anti-social, avoid at all costs loser who never spoke to anyone.

"Sorry," he said quickly, barely even aware that he was speaking over her. "I - uh - I didn't mean to startle you. I was just..." What had he just been doing? Getting hypnotised by droplets of rain? She probably thought he was enough of a freak already without the added bonus of a lunatic.

"... Sitting," Ash finished lamely, wincing inwardly at the stupidity of his answer. Being unfamiliar with holding conversations with people, it meant that when he was forced to he found the whoel thing incredibly uncomfortable and forced. He just never knew what to say to people.

Like now. An awkward silence followed. Well, for him it was awkward at least. Everything was awkward for him. Even his stance, after years of uncomfortableness, was not straight backed and proud but hunched and ill at ease, like he wished he was anywhere else. His eyes wandered around the Tower, desperate for some kind of inspiration to break the silence. Nothing but owl poop and spider's webs.

Finally they came to rest on the girl herself and the book in her hand. Literature! Yes! Something he actually knew a lot about. Spending so much time alone, Ash had read a lot of books both Muggle and wizarding. He liked reading for much the same reasons as he liked watching the rain - it was an escape to somewhere else, something to lose himself in. Maybe - just maybe - she felt the same.

"What - what are you reading?"


LILA:

September eyed him carefully, though with curiosity showing quite obviously in her eyes. She watched his movements around the tower. The first thing she noticed was his stance, how it was not like most other people she'd seen, it wasn't relaxed or calm. She also saw how his eyes seemed to move about from object to object as if not sure what he wanted to rest them on. She also saw how he seemed uncomfortable in their current environment, whether it be because of her or just the presence of another individual she wasn't sure.

But then his eyes rested on her and then the book in her hand.

What - what are you reading?

On reflex she glanced down at the book in her hand, almost as if she were making sure that they were talking about the same book. Maybe he liked to read, to escape to another world, if only for a while, just like she loved to do any chance she got. To live someone else's life for a bit and see what it would be like to be in that character's shoes and experience the things they experienced; to be rich or perfect, to fall in love, to have a real family without problems. Or maybe the opposite; to see how horrible life could be, to make you appreciate what you have, and realize just how precious life is.

"Pride and Prejudice." September answered at last, holding up the old book, tattered from use over the years. She maneuvered the book around so that the cover could be seen and the title typed in small, fading, golden letters could be read. It had been her mother's at one time. This was one of the only things September had to remember her by. She'd read the book many, many times over and it had become one of her favorites, just as it had also been her mother's.

"I love classic novels. Actually I love reading period, but I think older books are my favorite. They just seem to have more depth to them or something. Or out of muggle books anyway, wizarding novels are of course just as good today as they were years ago, but I find it harder to find a good fiction book that you can get lost in if its wizarding. And..." She stopped, seeming to realize she was just rambling on pointlessly. Instead of becoming embarrassed however, she shrugged her shoulders. "I was just coming up here to read actually, I like reading best when its raining, its calming, you know? And up here has the best view."

September went quiet again. "I'm sorry this is rude of me, I'm not giving you a chance to say anything." She apologized. "So...do you like to read?" She questioned, trying to give him time to talk if he wanted it, though she ask with genuine curiosity.

ooc; I know its not that great but...I tried.


TESS:

All Ash could do was blink. If they had been anywhere else at all, he would have glanced behind him to check if she was speaking to someone else. After all, it had been years since even the most outgoing and sociable people had stopped trying to hold a conversation with him. He was a known recluse who rarely spoke a word. At first this dark, brooding air had intrigued many a young woman in his year who lived in a fantasy land where they coaxed him out of his shell and they were happy together forever.

But life wasn't like that. In Ash's opinion, in order to be saved one had to want to be saved, and he never had. No, he wasn't always happy with being alone but he also hated even more the idea of someone showing him such pity and compassion just to try and find out if he was someone other than himself. That was something else that concerned him. He was worried that if he did show someone himself that they wouldn't be anywhere near as impressed as they'd hoped they would be. He just didn't believe he was a very interesting person.

Unlike the girl before him. It astounded him, the amount of words coming out of her mouth and the way they all flowed together so well. She was clearly intelligent and articulate and, from the sound of it, a lot like him in the respect of reading. Books were, after all, one of his personal favourite past times. Right now, if one were to search through Ash's bag, they would find a dog-eared copy of the Complete Works of Shakespeare. Right now he was re-reading Othello for at least the eighth time.

"Um... Yes," he managed to reply. She had lulled him into a false sense of security, with all that talking. He'd reached such a point that he doubted any of his own contribution was required and was perfectly content to just let her carry on talking about something he could relate to. Now that her attention was turned to him, Ash was frustratingly tongue-tied. He agreed with her completely and it annoyed him that he wasn't eloquent enough to put it into words.

"I agree, classic novels are best," he continued, avoiding eye contact at all costs. "And Jane Austen's a very good writer, though I prefer Shakespeare. I find Austen a little too of the time. Pride and Prejudice is probably one of her best, though, or maybe Sense and Sensibility..."

Ash trailed off, wishing he could have done something a little more interesting than just name books and authors.


Ooc: That leaves the ball in your court, Lila m'dear.