Fake Tourist Project: People's Palace (Abandoned), and Botanic Garden/Kelvingrove Park

[Jake]

Fake Tourist Project: People's Palace (Abandoned)/Botanic Garden/Kelvingrove Park.

Sometimes you've got to plan ahead, but being lazy, my version of planning ahead is not arranging timetables or anything like that. Planning ahead for me is working out where I'm heading for roughly two days before going out to find material for the Fake Tourist Project.
So me and the missus figured we were going to go to the People's Palace, which houses the history of Glasgow within it's walls. However, on the day we planned to go there, we didn't get to see anything because it was shut. Our forward planning didn't include the fact that there was a huge Orange Walk on that Saturday, moved ahead because of the Special Olympics.
The entire park was full of loyal supporters of Queen and Country singing drunkenly, fighting with each other, and causing general aggro. Now I know this is a sensitive subject for some folks (i.e people who would have been there for a start), but these kind of events, although probably organised by peace-loving, rational folks, attract every kind of nutcase from all over the West of Scotland. They were there in large groups, screaming at the tops of their voices. A few days later someone tried to argue the point that these things were just a reason for a good time for people. Why, if that's the case, were people being arrested, and others being treated for head wounds? Me and the missus had to cycle right through the park to get away from it, and therefore saw everything that was going on. The People's Palace, by the way, was being used as a base for the police.
I'm going to add here that I wouldn't expect anything to be more peaceful if it had been a Republican March that was going on. It would still attract the kind of loonies that were screaming abuse at passers-by (and tourists) on the cycle-path next to the Clyde.
We ran into two girls who had come over from Vancouver and were looking for a non-smoking pub in the city centre. Luckily I could remember one and gave them directions, but I couldn't help but wonder what they thought of the swaying masses draped in Union Jacks staggering up and down the street. Welcome to Glasgow.
For a bit of peace we headed, by main road, to the West End, finally reaching Kelvingrove Park. Imagine hundreds of drunken neds and then compare it to this picture, taken the same day:



That dog, by the way, just though it would pose for that picture, then walked away.

On the same day, Kelvingrove is busy, but calm. There's a skater park or whatever it's called. Students lounge on the grass playing music and drinking Stella. Dogs and kids play in the fountain. Not a whiff of violence in the air. We cycle through the park and head for the Botanic Gardens, reaching it via a cycle path that runs along the river Kelvin. I eat many flies before we reach the gardens.
It's nice that run, although the path itself is a bit narrow. There's a short waterfall where you can see Salmon jumping upstream, and if you're really lucky you'll also spot the Heron that feeds on these Salmon.
Some of the botanic gardens are being refurbished at the moment, so we trapsed around the gardens for a bit (there's a herb garden, children's play bit, and some other crap). It becomes painfully apparent that plants really aren't that interesting, and I can't imagine tourists really wanting to see such sites, but nevertheless we went inside to check out the plants.
Hmm - cacti. Ferns. Err Palm trees. Two ponds full of carp and other fish (and the bastard gardener who filled his can from the pond without checking whether he'd captured any fish). Very hot in these places. Nice hot though. Almost tropical. I took a picture which was all steamed up.

[Jake]

People's Palace (Proper)/Clydeside Cycle Path (East)

A week later we attempted to visit the People's Palace again. Luckily this time it was open. Outside there was a recently reinstated terra cotta fountain celebrating (by the looks of things) the glory days of the British Empire. It was also surrounding my metal fences so no one could get near it. A slight breeze caught some spray from the water and was a really refreshing way to cool down on what was a very humid day.




The People's Palace itself has been re-vamped. A nice man handed us a guide as we walked in, and to start off our tour we headed for the Winter Garden, a large greenhouse type construction at the back of the Palace, which sadly trapped quite a lot of heat. I was in fact reminded of the botanic gardens here, although they didn't have children running around screaming everywhere. Near the entrance an old man was playing beautiful tunes on a dulcimer, the notes carried into the air by the acoustics of the building.
It was hot though, very hot. We drifted back in the People's Palace and set to looking at what they had to offer. There was a display on of ancient pictures of Glasgow, mostly of the city centre/Clydeside/West End, and none of the South Side (not that a tourist would be looking for such pics). Good enough, although still very humid.
The People's Palace was always good for a glimpse into Glasgow's history (and THE only place to get the low-down on WWII Glasgow). Recently it's been turned into a more interactive, child-orientated museum, with plenty of places for kids to run around in (like a WWII-era shop, and a replica steamie). Now this kind of place is what a tourist would like to see. Fair enough, Glasgow's past isn't as exciting as say Rome or London (or even Edinburgh), but an outsider would be interested to see how the city has grown and changed. In a certain section of the Palace you can see some Billy Connelly and Lulu memorabillia. Why they have Carol Smillie's shoes on display is a mystery, however.
We should have spent more time there but the heat was getting the better of me so we set off to cycle along the Clyde for a bit. Peace had been restored, for the time being. We've seen plenty of genuine tourists down this way, oblivious to the fact that the East End is, well a bit rough. Although I've got to add here me and the missus have never had any trouble there.
We cycled along the Clyde, by Bridgeton, by the sewage works (and my God they really stink). A piece of information I picked up at the People's Palace hits me: The sewage works are one hundred years old. They sure smell like they are too. We pass the camps where the 'travelling folks' stay. We pass the Baltic, where large Red Hands of Ulster greet us. All the while flies commit suicide by dive bombing my throat. We finally reach Dalmarnock, an entire scheme due for demolition, and I take a quick picture.



These high-rise flats are all empty, and due to be knocked down.



A wall at the Baltic. God knows what's behind it.

I'll tell you something- it's a lot less eventful and enjoyable if you head East on the cycle path. The east end of Glasgow gets a bad name but I worked there for seven years and never run into trouble. Even on the cycle path no one bothers you. If you go far enough you reach the end of the city and pass through Rutherglen and Cambuslang. Not much there, but it gives you an idea that even though Glasgow is Scotland's largest city, it's not really that big at all.

[Jake]

I'll tell you something - there aint enough to do in Glasgow to sustain a project like this...