Welcome to Laurel Canyon!

[*Brody Zak Dawson]

Brody nodded slightly when she assured him that it was fine he'd shared that shit with her, but he wasn't so sure that it was. Of course she had to say that - she was his friend for god's sake. She couldn't exactly yell at him and say she had enough to worry about. Well, she could have - but that simply wasn't a Jessica thing to do. She was far too sweet to him and he knew it. She was a lot better to him than he deserved, after the way he'd treated her in the beginning. Yes, he adored her now. But he'd been quite the bastard to her in the early days, he was certain. Nobody could blame a kid for worrying he was going to lose his hero though, right? "Thanks...I guess I just needed to," he said. He still felt bad and that was evident from his expression, but he let it go. He couldn't exactly take back what he'd said now that it was out.

He sighed at her question, not knowing exactly how to answer that without scaring her or lying. If Brody told Jess that he never felt that way any more then he would be lying, but he wasn't exactly that bad most of the time now. "Occasionally," he said, looking down at his nails. He picked at them, which was another nervous habit he had after scratching his neck. He chewed on his lip for a moment, looking back at her. "I have very dark days and most of the time I'm not happy. But very rarely do I get thoughts like that. And I can't see myself ever killing myself now." He honestly didn't want to, though sometimes when he got so low he wanted to do something. Cutting he could see himself doing when desperate, but hopefully nothing more.

"I'll be alright," he said, hoping that that was true but not sounding as certain as he had hoped to. Brody doubted that that had sounded honest enough to convince her, unfortunately. He did want to be okay though, so he was just going to have to keep on fighting and take everything a day at a time. Things were very slowly improving, even if a lot of the time it felt like he was stuck or even going backwards in terms of progression of recovery.

"The night I'd tried to kill myself...I'd walked in on him doing the same old shit. Well, I'd quit that shit and as far as I knew so had he - he'd told me so. I know it's wrong to abandon my friend...but it sent me over the edge and I can't afford to be around him right now. I hang around with someone doing that shit and I will sink further," Brody told her, hoping that she would understand his reasoning and not think him a terrible friend. He already felt guilty enough - but he was doing this for his friends and family as much as he was doing it for himself. "He doesn't want to get clean and I do. I want to get my life back. It's damned hard. I can't be pulled in to that."

[*Jessica Noelle Taylor]

Jess could feel her chest continue to tighten the more Brody spoke. It wasn't that she was necessarily uncomfortable with the subject matter...well, she was. But what she was thinking about most was how useless she was in this situation. She'd never dealt with this sort of thing before. Brett was never the most happy kid in the world, but she'd never suspected he was suicidal. Therefore this was the first time she was worrying about this kind of thing, it wasn't the kind of thing she would think about just by herself off the top of her head. Biting her bottom lip, Jess didn't think he sounded necessarily genuine when he said he'd be alright.

"Have you ever thought about..." she began, but instantly thought maybe it was a bad idea to ask. It was what she thought, but he even said he hadn't told anyone else, and that he just needed to tell someone. "Have you ever thought about maybe telling someone else? Like...your parents, or one of our guidance counselors?" She instantly realised what she sounded like and instantly gave herself a mental-swirly. She sounded really lame. "I mean, I know how that sounds, but they would maybe have ways of helping you. Somehow."

Jess could understand now why Brody had probably thought it was best just to leave Tyson alone. If he didn't want to be a part of something like that, it would probably be best to put as much space between yourself and someone who did those things as possible. Still, Tyson obviously needed some help. She could maybe talk to Connor about it, see if he could help his brother. She and the youngest Riley brother weren't very close, but she could still get him some help from the outside. "Well I think that was probably best then," Jess said, nodding her head. It was true, Brody didn't need to be around that shit right now.

[*Brody Zak Dawson]

Brody sighed and shook his head at the mention of talking to somebody else. She had been careful in the way that she'd said it, but she was basically suggesting that he get help. Well, maybe he did need psychological help, but he was so sick of it all. He'd been forced to speak to therapists in the hospital a couple of times and it had just made him feel worse, so now he refused every suggestion or offer he received. "I tried it in the hospital...I did so not like it," he told her, sighing softly. He knew that it was probably best, but it didn't feel that it was. So no, he was unwilling to go down that route right now. He would rather just keep it to himself, if he could refrain from dumping it all on people like Jess in future. "It was pretty much that or some residential clinic after the hospital though, so the therapy sessions won over."

They'd wanted him to go to some sort of program to help him quit the drugs after everything else was sorted, but he'd proven that he was more of an abuser than an addict by quitting during his hospital stay and keeping clean so far during his stay at home. They'd also wanted him to attend regular therapy sessions because of the depression and aftermath, but he'd not been up for that. There wasn't much that they could do, either.

Brody was doing alright on his own, he thought, though he pushed himself to his limits - and sometimes past them, which was worse than he realised. But if he did start getting really bad urges again, he would reconsider this decision and go and seek help from somebody. "Those shrinks...they never get it, at all. And you just feel worse after. So I'll just express myself through music and art for now," he said, smiling very slightly - though it was forced.

"I think that time apart is for the best. Kasey is avoiding him too though, which I'm not sure I want - it's her call though," he said. Tyson had lied to them both and he wasn't surprised that Kase was mad - especially after the state Brody had been in that night when she had found him. Brody knew that most of the blame was his own that night, but seeing Tyson doing that shit had just triggered him.

[*Jessica Noelle Taylor]

Jess sighed a bit when Brody said that he didn't like the help he'd received in those hospitals. No, she didn't suppose he would. He hadn't even told her about these thoughts he'd been having about hurting himself until now, months after the death of his friend and the accident, and she was one of his best friends. She may have been that, but she was not a shrink. She was not a counselor, she was not a lifeline and she didn't know how to handle these things, or say the things that he'd need to hear. Expressing himself through art and music would help, but for how long?

"I just...I obviously don't think it's a good thing that you're having these thoughts," Jess said, rolling her eyes at the 'duh' her sentence played out as. Of course it was a bad thing he was having those thoughts! "I just think that maybe with a little extra help, besides art, besides music, besides friends, maybe it would be able to get better faster, you know? We all have 'dark days', but a lot of people don't think about hurting themselves when they do have them...It's something to be worried about."

Jess frowned lightly and slid her hand out across the table to rest on top of his. It took her a second, but she managed a light smile on her face. "I like that you can talk to me, and I'm always here for you if art or music don't cut it..." she paused and let her smile slide into a light, joking smirk momentarily, "And you may not be able to sleep with me like you can with Kasey, but if she's not around, you can always come to me." She laughed lightly.