VincentX: Welcome folks to the show that never ends until we don't find a crappy fic to riff on!

Zeromark: Although it has been a while. Look at the dust.

VincentX: I am the ghost of kalsmas past...I mean VincentX.

Zeromark: And I am your resident new teacher, the old admin Collie, Zeromark!

VincentX: So today we've got a special treat; and by special treat I mean awful putrid Sonic fanfic that makes the Sonic 2006 story look like gold...actually; probably not; but it is bad!

Zeromark: I'll take your word for it; I never played that game.

VincentX: I...beat it...completely...and have been replaying parts of it...

VincentX: I think I'm a masochist.

VincentX: I've been playing it on Hard Mode.

Zeromark: If it's bad as the lipsync in Sonic Adventure 1, then probably.

VincentX: So the title of this stinker? "the human sonic team" by Alexia the hedgehog

VincentX: So the devs from Human are joining with Sonic Team?

Zeromark: Come on, didn't we learn this lesson before? Humans in the Sonic World = FTL!

VincentX: Again; Sonic 2006 cited as evidence.

Zeromark: With the obvious exception of Eggman.

Zeromark: But he's the villian.

VincentX: I'm just hoping there's no human princess on dead hedgehog action...oops, did I just ruin that?

Zeromark: It's old spoiler by now, Vincent.

VincentX: True.

Zeromark: Shall we?

VincentX: We shall.

"I never realized how you life can change after one simple decision until that fateful day"

Zeromark: Chicken or steak?

VincentX: I did; it was called the first day I decided to read the American Dragon Rape fic...

VincentX: *shudders* That thing still haunts me to this day.

Zeromark: Or the day I rented Dragonball: Evolution from Redbox.

VincentX: I saw it in theaters.

Zeromark: Your poor thing.

VincentX: and Street Fighter the Legend of Chun Li

Zeromark: Okay, you are a maschoist.

I went to a local flea market so just look around when robots came crashing down .people were running around and screaming trampling everything .I was about to start running when I heard someone crying I turned around to see a girl about my age, what got into me but I ran In front of her and said
” Hey! pick on some body your own size!”.

VincentX: So...wait what?

Zeromark: Who "got into me"

VincentX: Kinky.

Zeromark: Just what I was thinking.

VincentX: So many random spaces...which reminds me; I'd like to shove this author into space.

” Target found aiming FIRE!” said the robot

Zeromark: What robot?

VincentX: Robots apparently can't use punctuation or commas.

VincentX: At least there's no creepy sexual innuendos like the Mega Man X one where everyone got blown with the Sigma virus.

Zeromark: Hhe.

.I quickly grabbed her arm and ran as fast as possible .But once again we were stuck in an other corner . The girl took out a calculator and started to punch in some numbers.

VincentX: Calculator Cannot Help You

VincentX: For those who don't know that's the name of a song in Gungrave.

VincentX: The more you don't need to know. *ding*

Zeromark: I'm in mortal danger! Time to graph out an equation!

VincentX: 2 + 2 = We're screwed.

” Umm I don’t think this is the time to do your math homework!” I said .”

“Ahha! You’ve got to hit the robot in the head that’s its weak point.” she said looking up from the calculator. Suddenly a shadow darted above us .

VincentX: That's one hell of a calculator.

Zeromark: Or it's that glaring red spot.

VincentX: And a shadow darted...great; emo boy is here.

” looks like you could use some help!” said an other girl appearing out of no were.

VincentX: No were-hog!

VincentX: Were hog?

VincentX: There hog. There castle.

Zeromark: It's pronouced Robot-nik.

She immediately ran behind the bot (robot) kicked off the wall and nearly kicked it’s head off I did the exact same thing she did and destroyed it. But, just our luck more appeared ,It took an other hour or more to finally destroy all of them I turned around to see the other girls were just as exhausted as me

VincentX: Okay...

Zeromark: What, is Robotnik making his minions out of balsawood?

VincentX: What she failed to mention was how they died many times because the Homing Attack is broken.

Zeromark: I always like the spin dash, but that went to suck in the 3D version.
VincentX: Everything went to suck in the 3D games.

Zeromark: Even plot and concept. "Nintendo made link a Wolf! We should do that to Sonic! Huzzah"

VincentX: I still say Unleashed is the best 3D Sonic game...which isn't saying much but the Day levels are pure win.

” Hi I’m soni! Thanks for helping me beat those bots” I said shaking their hands.

VincentX: I beat my bot every night.

Zeromark: Soni?

Zeromark: Is that Sonic, missing a c, or a different character?

VincentX: Either way; we're in trouble.

Zeromark: Agreed.

VincentX: I'm Soni th Hedgeho

Zeromark: That...

Zeromark: That sounds dirty.

” I’m tammy thanks for saving me back there!” said the girl I saved.

VincentX: At least it's not Roug

VincentX: Or Am

VincentX: Or Crea

Zeromark: Did your parents hate you? "Let's name our child with a lowercase letter!"

VincentX: That's when you know you're doomed to suck.

” I’m kay nice to meet you!” said the other girl.

VincentX: It's easy mmmkay!

VincentX: "You're okay; but what's your name?"
"Kay."
"So tell me."
"Kay!"
"So tell me!"

Zeromark: ...

VincentX: Who's on first?

Zeromark: *strains at the leash*

Zeromark: LET ME GO@

VincentX: Dude! Sweet! Dude! Sweet!

Zeromark: Heh.

Zeromark: The one good part of that movie.

VincentX: And then?

” How did my Egg bots get destroyed so quickly by three measly GIRLS!” said a voice from above us .

Zeromark: Figured it was Robotnik.

VincentX: Because you suck Robuttnik. See, you need to stop sucking; that's your
problem. If you stop sucking you might get better.

VincentX: But until then you suck.

Zeromark: Hmm.

VincentX: For five dolla.

Zeromark: Very.

” Who are you?” asked Tammy.
” I am the great and power full Eggman! ” said the voice on a ship.

VincentX: I am power full! I am full of power!

Zeromark: Lemme guess. He's going to swing a giant ball from a small round ship?

VincentX: I am the Eggman! That's what I am! I am the Eggman, I've got the master plan!

” you mean Dr. eggman enemy of sonic the hedgehog?” asked kay.

VincentX: No, Dr. Eggman; the chiropractor in South Jersey.

VincentX: Duh.

Zeromark: You know any other Robotnik!

Zeromark: AND IT'S ROBOTNIK

VincentX: DOCTOR IVO ROOOOBOTNIK!

Zeromark: That's what I grew up with it; that's what it'll be.

” how do you know about that blue rat?” Eggman asked.
” Resources. Now I sagest you leave.“ I said getting into fighting stance.

VincentX: "I sagest" well "I gammarest"

Zeromark: Agreed.

” Sure let me just leave you a parting gift!” he said firing at us.
” Tammy ,kay hide quickly I have an Idea.” I said . I ran back a few miles and ran at full speed jumped up and did a front flip kicking the machiens down.

Zeromark: Wait.

VincentX: I love kicking Machiens down. Much easier than kicking Machines.

Zeromark: She has sonic powers?

VincentX: I wonder if her entire face distorts everytime she talks?

Zeromark: Is she turning blue, too??

Zeromark: Or have annoying effemenite fox side-kicks?

VincentX: Hopefully she learns Sonic's 3D ability to die with the slightest effort.

” How did you do that?” Kay asked me as they came out of hiding.
” Yeah how did you do that?” tammy said running up to me.
” I don’t know ? I just had an instinct to do that .why don’t we just forget that happened come on wanna get some ice cream ? I’ll pay.” I said rubbing my head .

Zeromark: ...Kinky. Sounds like a date.

VincentX: ...world is being blown apart; robots everywhere...screw that I want Ice Cream!

Zeromark: Hey, Mint Chocolate Chip is worth dying for.

VincentX: Rocky Road for me.

” That was impressive, but we could have done much better. “ said a voice behind us.
” And we could have figured out the weak points much faster.” said a younger voice. I was so furious that I didn’t even turn around to see who was talking
” look I didn’t see you out there fighting? And we did great since it was the first time fighting robots so don’t criticize! Come on girls lets go get some ice cream. “I said storming off. When we got to a Ice cream shop a few blocks away and ordered our Ice cream we went back to talking.

VincentX: ...

Zeromark: Still sounds like a date.

VincentX: uh yeah

Zeromark: Wait.

Zeromark: Didn't the description say three girls?

VincentX: ...three chicks at the same time.

Zeromark: Hmm.

VincentX: Heh heh, alright!

VincentX: Giggidy giggidy goo!

Zeromark: Peverted man is back.

VincentX: With a penisgense!

” Man the nerve of people criticizing when they didn’t help at all .You know you two look familiar? ( I stare at them for a few minutes) I’ve got it you two are runaways! I recognize ya’ll from the flyers. Don’t worry I won’t turn you in because I am runaway too. Do you have a place to stay? Because there’s this abandoned house not far from here you can stay with me.” I said as I stirred my Ice cream.

VincentX: I'd stare at them too...wait...how old are they?

Zeromark: Dunno.

VincentX: I'd stir her ice cream anyday anyway.

Zeromark: But runaways?

Zeromark: Homeless girls.

VincentX: Willing to do anything! Homeless Girls Gone Wild! Oh yeah!

Zeromark: Even with Sonic powers!

Zeromark: And super-calculators

VincentX: "Fastest man alive."
"Maybe that's why you can't get a date."

” That would be awesome! And you said to forget about it but ,what you did as technically impossible ” Tammy said to me.

VincentX: Geek voice: That would be awshome!

Zeromark: Homeless geek girls.

Zeromark: The cliches keep building.

VincentX: boo ya

” She’s right that was impossible .And Tammy you remind me of tails the fox!” Kay said to us.
” Really! Because ..um.. At my old school they called me the human tails.” she said sheepishly.

VincentX: What she doesn't mention is how they pinned a fox tail on her ass one day.

Zeromark: Homeless girls know about video games?

VincentX: they sneak into Gamestops

Zeromark: You would know.

VincentX: Not anymore! I'm free! Free at last!!

” Your kidding me! They called me the human knuckles! I kind of had a temper then. Soni did you have any nicknames?” Kay asked .
” Well …. Umm don’t laugh but they called me the human Sonic, because beat all the boys in races .” I said blushing.

VincentX: Human Knuckles...once again; kinky!

Zeromark: Hmm.

VincentX: And I'm sure she always beat them off the track with both hands.

Zeromark: ...Ew.

Zeromark: Just ew.

VincentX: Cream the Rabbit?

Zeromark: Not going to dignify that one.

” really!? It certainly suites you.” Kay said.
” can we stop talking about this in public come on the house isn’t far from here lets go.” I said grabbing their hands and dragging them out of the Ice cream parlor.

VincentX: What house!? They're runaways!

VincentX: This plot makes no sense!

Zeromark: And most Sonic game plots do?

VincentX: Unleashed worked! Amy was even a likeable character!

Zeromark: I prefered it was simple - defeat Robotnik. Oh, to have the Genesis back.

VincentX: I have Genesis...and CD...and 32X

VincentX: Knuckles Chaotix baby!

VincentX: So that was the first chapter; which was full of such pure awesome that we will treat you to the second one! And by treat I mean inflict.

Zeromark: Must we?

VincentX: We must; I still have more sex jokes I need to make.

Zeromark: Of course.

“Wow the house is big!” Tammy exclaimed as we entered the house .” Yeah ,its nice how many rooms?” Kay asked .” Five rooms and two bathrooms. You can chose what room you want and decorate it how ever you like .” I said as I opened the windows .once they were settled and chose their room I quickly made some chillie dogs for dinner. Right when we were about sit down I heard a knocking at the door.

VincentX: ...

Zeromark: Crack house?

VincentX: They broke into a mansion I'm guessing.

Zeromark: Or is this a pimp residence?

VincentX: Decorate it...with fluids!

VincentX: Spit shine.

VincentX: What?

“ Do you think somebody followed us?” Kay asked.
” I don’t know?” I said as I walked to the door.

VincentX: Naw; who would possibly want to follow people acting like video game characters.

Zeromark: It could be the evil genius stalking you.

VincentX: I always feel like someone is stalking me.

” who is it?” I asked without opening the door.
” do you mind opening the door ? My friends and I would like to speak with you and your friends.” said the voice.

VincentX: God I hope speak is a metaphore for something else.

Zeromark: "I'm totally not the evil genius stalking you!"

It hit me, I knew why the voice sounded familiar.
” You’re the jerk who was criticizing us. well listen you …..” I said in mid sentence as I opened the door. My mouth nearly dropped to the floor two hedgehogs ,a two tailed fox and a echidna stood before me.

VincentX: Okay scratch the orgy idea.

Zeromark: Sega already did that.

VincentX: ...

Zeromark: Human on hedgehog action?

VincentX: It was just a kiss...though everyone wonders what was worse: the fact that she kissed an animal...or a dead animal.

” G…. girls you kneed to come over here now!” I said not taking my eyes off them.
” Is that who I think it is?” Kay asked eyes widening.
” Oh , my gosh! that’s Tails the fox ,knuckles the echidna ,shadow and sonic the hedgehog.” Tammy said appearing next to me equally surprised .

Zeromark: Dull suprise. Oh shock.

VincentX: At least it isn't the B-squad of female characters. Or in Rouge's case, D-Squad.

” Umm.. Come on in sorry for yelling at you umm…and calling you jerks.” I said as I let them in blushing and feeling soooo embarrassed.

Zeromark: *headdesk*

VincentX: Oh my god! I'm soooo embarassed! Totally!

Zeromark: Teenagers.

Zeromark: Or is it teenage girls?

Zeromark: (My apologies to our female readers)

VincentX: Can I make an addition: Apologies to our intelligent female readers.

Zeromark: Agreed.

.” That’s all right ! We probably shouldn’t be criticizing since it was your first time fighting Eggman.” sonic said as he shook my hand.
” We should probably introduce ourselves ,I’m soni that’s Kay and Tammy.” I said as I pointed out the girls.
“Hello. I…its an honor meeting you.” Tammy said shaking Tails hand .
“Nice meeting you too!”

VincentX: His hand?

VincentX: Sure.

Zeromark: It could have been worse.

"I was barely containing myself, the whole sonic team was here and shadow!!! I wanted so badly to cream , and slap myself for making sucha fool of myself."

VincentX: Now carefully read that...

Zeromark: Augh. SO SICK.

VincentX: Actually I did that.

I was barely containing myself, the whole sonic team was here and shadow!!! I wanted so badly to scream , and slap myself for making sucha fool of myself.

VincentX: Oops.

Zeromark: I hate you.

VincentX: Hehehe.

“Come and sit down.” I said leading them into the living room.
“Sure , come on guys.”
“Sonic , I think we should leave these …girls alone and deal with the problem ourselves . We can handle this alone , they’ll just be in our way.” shadow said not moving from the door.

Zeromark: Well, given the other fics pair the males up from the series anyway.

VincentX: More proof Shadow is into the spines and not the fuz.

Now come on shadow! You saw them we could use their help.” sonic said putting a hand on his hip.

VincentX: ...will they please stop saying "come on"

Zeromark: Agreed.

“I agree with shadow , we don’t want them to get hurt.” knuckles said crossing his arms.
“What’s the problem?” I asked curious.
“None of your busness .” shadow snapped .If looks could kill I would have been dead ages ago.

VincentX: God I wish looks could kill.

Zeromark: What the hell does Knuckles care?

VincentX: Knuckles is the caring asshole while Shadow is just the asshole. You know, like Piccolo and Vegeta.

Zeromark: Unless it's the Master Emerald, why would he care?

“Eggman , we need to get back home , but we can only get home if we get the seven chaos emeralds. “ sonic said .
“Eggman already has one , so that leaves six left, we have to get them before he does.” Tails said looking a little worried.

VincentX: We need the Dragon Balls!

Zeromark: RO-BOT-NICK

Zeromark: It's not hard.

Zeromark: It's much more sinister than "Eggman"

VincentX: I'm still annoyed with Sonic going DBZ.

VincentX: Problem #500 with Sonic 06: the last story is DBZ to the max.

Zeromark: ...

Zeromark: My god..

VincentX: What?

Zeromark: Shadow is Vegeta.

VincentX: I know.

VincentX: Sonic is Goku; Tails is Gohan, Knuckles is Piccolo, Shadow is Vegeta, Amy and Rouge are Bulma and Chi Chi merged; Silver is Trunks

Zeromark: Tails strikes me as more the Krillin type.

“And we’ll help you get them, right girls!” I said looking towards them.
“Of course!”
“No duh!”

VincentX: Totally!

VincentX: Right on!

Zeromark: So is this more Totally Spies, or Charile's Angels?

“Alright then , it’s settled we’re whether you like it or not.” I said smirking. Shadow’s eye’s were blazing with fury , he stormed out of the house slamming the door on the way out.

VincentX: I HAVE FURY!

Zeromark: MY LIFE, FOR YOU

“Don’t worry about him , he’ll come around soon enough . Now umm….I thought I smelled chillie dogs .”sonic said patting me on the back.

VincentX: Back? Bah.

Zeromark: Chillie?

Zeromark: My god, the writer knows about the horrible Sonic cartoons.

VincentX: Sonic should've knocked on the door and gone, "Knock knock, it's me; wondering why you're not naked." Then "Knock knock, it's me again; still wondering why you're not naked."

Zeromark: ...

Zeromark: *WHAT?*

“Oh sorry , would you like…”I said but was cut off when he whizzed past me and into the kitchen. Knuckles and Tails just shrugged their shoulders and followed me into the kitchen to find Sonic pilling seven chillie dogs on a plate. Everybody cracked up laughing.

VincentX: Chili! Chili!

Zeromark: >.<

VincentX: Is it that hard to spell a 5 letter word!?

Zeromark: Apparently.

Sorry, but it took a long time udate i lost interest in the story and will probably delet it if i don't a few reviews. any way ...review. and god bless!!!.

VincentX: Yeah I take long times to udate when I lose interest too.

VincentX: So that was the end of Chapter 2...the ending...the ending of our story...the ending.

Zeromark: So bad. Just so bad.

VincentX: Actually there are 5 chapters but we won't put you through that.

VincentX: Not yet anyway.

Zeromark: That would be animal cruelty;

VincentX: To Sonic or you?

Zeromark: Me.

Zeromark: Kal's got powerful ffriends.

VincentX: So until next time true believers; always come along with your hedgeho!

Zeromark: I need a bleaching of my fur.

VincentX: I need to play a Sonic game to clense myself...

Zeromark: Just do Sonic 1.

VincentX: Sonic R...NOT!

Zeromark: Or Sonic 2.

VincentX: Or Sonic CD.

Zeromark: With the debug code.