The Fanteenstic
Four 8 ½

By: VincentX
 


Preface:

Alright I realize that this sounds really weird already, I bet you’re all wondering The Fanteenstic Four 8 ½? Za? Well what this fic is an idea I had back in 2006 when I was planning the eighth, ninth and tenth FT4 stories. It was originally either going to be a second part of the eighth story or the ninth, hence ½. So in honor of the Fifth anniversary of the Fanteenstic Four series for May 2009 I decided to actually write this “lost” fic. That being said just sit back, relax and have some fun as that’s what this installment was supposed to be: me having fun…and possibly embarrassing the heck out of myself…






 
Chapter 1:
Nothing Unusual

Jerry leaned back in the chair in front of the base’s main computer and yawned after almost an hour straight of typing away. About a day had gone by since he and Sam had returned from the Justice Fourteen universe and he was using what remained of the Teen Titan technology to try and read information on it. The fact that he had been to two alternate universes within two years, not to mention those from another universe coming here, made him curious about the technology to do so. Plus with the alternate powers he could develop; knowing about either powerful versions of themselves or just other fictional characters wouldn’t hurt either. His alternate power program was running at the same time and recorded the information he was transferring between the two.
Brad walked over to where his friend was sitting and simply stared at the computer monitor as images and programming code flashed across the screen.
“Jerry it’s happened,” he said.
“What?”
“You’ve become a geek.”
Jerry shrugged, “Only now it’s happened?”
The two friends laughed at each other’s comments and shook their heads as the main door to the base opened.
“Sounds like Sam and Lauren are back from patrol,” Brad commented as he waved to the two flying members of the group.
Lauren took off her sunglasses as the door closed and said, “No sign of trouble today. Guess Trent and his buddies are lying low at the moment.”
Sam shook his head as he took his sunglasses off too, “I think after the beating you and Brad gave them they decided to take a break.”
Brad chuckled, “I always try to produce the best results when I beat the crap out of people.”
Everyone started laughed as they relaxed in their base; all of them glad that they were getting some peace and quiet after what happened yesterday. They were all back together and the city was peaceful; there wasn’t really much more to ask for than that.

Trent and his team sat around and grumbled about their very humiliating defeat the day before at the hands of Crusher and Inviso. The four of them hadn’t been too injured but their pride had been completely decimated by their enemies’ attack.
Trent punched the floor, “I still can’t believe those two beat us up so easily!”
Blaze sighed, “They did catch us by surprise so I guess we can at least use that to ease our bruised egos.”
“THAT’S NOT A GREAT EXCUSE!” Annihilator shouted.
Psyonic winced before clutching her head, “Ugh, can someone shut him up, I have a freaking headache.”
Trent shook his head as he stood up and walked over to his base’s computer while the others argued. He had been working for a while on trying to hack into his enemies’ computer and since they were all beaten up, this was a good time to try it again. Trent believed that if the Fanteenstic Four could use their equipment to find his base; then maybe he could do something similar.
“I SAY WE RUSH THEIR BASE AND THRASH THEM!”
“Yeah, because we’re in the perfect shape to go and do that!” Blaze argued.
“WE SURPRISE THEM!”
Psyonic held her head, “How? With you shouting loud enough to wake the dead!?”
Trent was about to comment on the quarrel when suddenly the computer beeped and a few windows popped up. An evil smile crept across the young man’s face as he rapidly pressed keys on the main panel and he believed he found what he was looking for.
“What are you doing over there Trent?” Blaze asked.
Trent turned around, “Hacking into the Fanteenstic Four’s computer.”
Psyonic raised an eyebrow, “Wow…you actually did something cool. I’m impressed.”
Blaze was wary about getting excited about it, “So what will this allow us to do anyway?”
Trent thought for a moment and then snapped his fingers, “I got it! Remember those alternate powers Jerry makes?” all three nodded, “Well why don’t I find a way to transfer that program and use it to make all of us stronger?”
Psyonic slapped him on the back, “That Trent, is quite possibly the best idea you’ve ever had. Go for it.”

“So you guys think those four are still at their base?” Sam asked as the four friends stood in front of the computer, not noticing anything about it.
Brad nodded, “They have to be. Lauren and I whooped them pretty badly and I doubt they have another base set up.”
“So you think we should just rush them?” the former asked.
Lauren was wary about it, “I don’t know…you know what they say; an animal is most dangerous when it is wounded. They’re probably waiting for us to attack and might have their base set up with traps.”
Brad sighed, “Lauren’s got a point. She and I caught them by surprise yesterday; I doubt they’d fall for the same trick twice.”
Suddenly the computer let out a loud shriek and they turned to see a red window flashing.
“What the heck is that?” asked Sam.
Jerry immediately sat down and rapidly pressed buttons before he replied, “An alert; someone’s trying to hack our system.”
“Who?” Lauren questioned.
“I’ll give ya three guesses!”

“Damn!” Trent swore as he typed faster.
Blaze looked at the screen, “What is it?”
“I think I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. One of them is trying to block me out.”
Psyonic clenched her fists, “Can you at least finish?”
Trent nodded, “I’m trying. It looks like the program for the alternate powers is being run right now.”
“What’s that other program?” the blond woman asked.
“Who cares…let’s see…I got it!”
Suddenly the screen flashed before energy blasted from it and engulfed the four villains.

“Oh crap!” Jerry exclaimed as the system displayed another error message.
“What’s wrong!?” Brad asked as he dreaded the response.
“They activated one of the programs I was running and it’s overloading!”
The Fanteenstic Four computer now had the same reaction as Trent’s and shot out a massive wave of energy that engulfed the four and blinded them.

In the villain’s base the computer stopped and the four were sent flying as all the lights burnt out due to the energy usage.

The four friends groaned as they picked themselves off the floor of the base and shook their heads. They looked at the computer right before a couple of sparks shot out from the main panel.
“Well…that was fun,” Brad said, his voice full of sarcasm.
Sam cracked his neck and asked, “What did they do?”
Jerry pressed a button and the computer cut out, “No clue. Ugh, it’s getting late. Let’s all go home and I can figure it out tomorrow.”
All four of them grabbed what they needed to get home and jumped down from the base before they headed to their cars and drove to their homes. They decided that resting up was more important than stressing about the computer frying.

Chapter 2:

Something Unusual


The next morning Jerry woke up feeling relatively refreshed after the accident from yesterday. He did feel strange and his body felt a lot different than usual but he couldn’t figure out what exactly it was. The young man looked around his room while lying in bed and saw that he left the TV remote over on his desk. Not wanting to get up he held out an arm and decided to use his powers to stretch over and pick the object up. However his limb wouldn’t stretch and simply stayed at a normal length no matter how hard he tried to use his powers.

“What the heck?” Jerry grumbled, “Did that overload kill my powers? Wait…I was researching alternate ones; maybe I have new powers instead.”

The young man stood up and tried to use the powers he had gotten before but nothing happened. He felt a little lighter on his feet but other than that he felt exactly the same as always.

“Jerry!” his mother’s voice called to him from the living room.

“Yeah mom?”

“Just so you know, the hot water is out so don’t be shocked by it when you take a shower!”

“Alright!” he called back before he let out a sigh and muttered, “No powers and now no hot water; terrific.”

Deciding that getting out of the house as soon as possible to go and fix the computer was the best course of action Jerry skipped watching TV and immediately grabbed some clothes from his dresser. He did his best to shake the feeling of sleepiness as he made his way to the bathroom, shut the door and immediately turned on the heat fan.

“With no hot water this is all I got,” he commented before looking at the mirror and saw that his hair was now black, a little longer and he had a small pig tail, “Uh…okay. Great, always wanted non-afro hair…and a freaking pig tail; excellent.”

He turned on the water and got into the shower, cringing as the extremely cold water hit him and grabbed the shampoo bottle. Jerry felt weird the second the water touched him but he ignored it and washed his hair, some getting in his eyes and then shut off the water.

“Screw this,” he thought, “It’s too cold.”

He stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel, his eyes still closed as some shampoo had gotten in them. As he dried himself he felt something very
wrong…actually two things that were very wrong on his upper body.

“Wha…”he started and then realized his voice was completely different.

Jerry immediately jumped in front of the small mirror in his bathroom and found himself staring at the reflection of a red haired girl. He clasped his hands to his mouth to stifle the obvious scream of shock and immediately dried himself and threw on his clothes. He ran from the bathroom and into his room before he shut the door and stood with a shocked look on his face.

“This isn’t happening,” he gasped, still shocked at what happened to him, “Man…how am I gonna get out of here? Mom and dad are in the living room and I can’t let them see me like this!”

Jerry looked desperately around his room for a solution to his predicament, something; anything that would allow him to get passed his parents without them knowing that he was now a girl. He soon found himself shivering a little as well, either due to nervousness or the fact that the water had been ice cold. Finally he got an idea and ran over to his closet before grabbing a hooded sweat shirt and a hat.

“This should hide my hair and my…other problem…” he muttered as he put on his sweatshirt and sighed in relief that it covered his chest, “Oh thank goodness.”

He quickly put on the hat and placed the hood over his head as well to completely cover up his red hair and pig-tail. Suddenly he heard a buzzing noise and turned to see his cell phone vibrating on his desk, indicating that he was getting a text message.

Jerry immediately checked it and saw that Lauren sent him a text that said, “On 101 + my pwrs dont work, U?”

He quickly texted, “No + othr prblm.”

Just as he grabbed the doorknob another text came in, “Wht prblm?”

Jerry sighed and replied, “Just meet me at base!”

After he opened the door he got one more, “K.”

The young man turned young woman quietly stepped out of his bedroom after taking a deep breath and headed for the kitchen and living room. He arrived at the doorway that led in and took a quick peek inside to see that his parents were sitting on the couch watching TV. Realizing that this was his chance he quietly crept into the kitchen and slowly opened the drawer with his keys, wallet and sunglasses.

“Jerry is that you?” his mom asked as she turned around while Jerry immediately threw on his sunglasses and nodded before she asked, “What’s with the winter look. Was the shower that cold?”

He quickly nodded before his dad turned around and commented, “Oh come on it’s at least seventy five degrees out now.”

A small sweat drop ran down Jerry’s face as he shrugged and opened the front door.

“You heading out?” his mom continued to question before he nodded and she said, “Alright, have a good day; and don’t melt under all that.”

Jerry gave a quick and silent thumbs up before he practically slammed the door shut as he ran out to his car.

His dad shook his head, “Ever get the feeling that he’s hiding something from us?”


Jerry jumped into his car, turned on the engine and immediately sped off away from his street and headed towards the beach and the base. As he went he started sweating due to the heavy sweatshirt he was wearing and groaned in irritation. The second he reached a stop sign he waited while he took off the sweat shirt and hat since no one would recognize him the way he looked. As he opened the car’s windows and gasped for breath, a car horn behind him honked.

The man behind him shouted, “Go lady! Stupid woman driver!”

A vein almost burst out of Jerry’s head as he got out of his car, walked over to the man’s car and almost pulled him out through the window.

“Listen jackass!” he screamed, “Say that again and I’m gonna give you a vasectomy with my car’s jumper cables!”

The now thoroughly frightened man nodded and said, “R-right! Sorry!”

Jerry shoved the man back into his seat before he stomped back to his car and drove off.

“Inconsiderate jerk,” he muttered, “You’d think he’d give a lady some common courtesy…ugh…I can’t believe I just said that.”

As he drove Jerry couldn’t help but realize that his seat was just a little too close to the steering wheel.

“Oh for goodness sake…” he groaned before moving the seat back as he drove past the park, “This has got to be the dumbest thing to ever happen to me.”

After a few minutes of searching for a space and wondering if he should just use the jet car; Jerry finally found a parking space and headed for the beach. However as he walked he started getting random cat calls from some of the young men on the beach and irritation started building within the transformed hero.
One of the more courageous of them placed a hand on Jerry’s shoulder and asked,

“Hey baby, wanna go for a long walk on the beach tonight?”

His last bit of patience snapped as Jerry whirled around and punched the would-be ladies man in the face so hard that he left the ground and then fell back first on the sand.

“Enough!” he screamed, wishing that he still had his male voice, “I swear to god that the next one of you that calls me sweety or in any way tries to hit on me is gonna be drowned!”

With that he made his way to where the base was and quietly went inside before anyone saw him/her. As the main door closed Jerry let out a sigh of relief that he made it to the base without too many problems. However he quickly ran over to the computer and immediately began working on getting it running again so he could figure out what had happened to him.


As Lauren passed by dog beach in Del Mar on Highway 101 she smiled since she was finally close to the base. The fact that her powers; as well as the others since she had texted all three of them, hadn’t been working; made her worry. Plus Jerry said he had another problem that he didn’t want to disclose over the phone, which said to her that it was big.

“Maybe it has something to do with our powers disappearing,” she thought as she found a parking space, “Could there be something else that’s going to be happening to us? He’d better tell me what’s going on.”

Lauren quickly made her way across the beach, but the same young man that had hit on Jerry quickly jumped in front of her to try the same thing.

“Hey girly, wanna go for a long walk on the beach with me tonight?” he asked, a large red mark on his right cheek.

“Girly?” she growled right before a giant wooden mallet appeared out of nowhere in her hands, “You’re done!”

Lauren swung the mallet and cracked the unsuccessful flirt across the left side of his face and sent him flying into the ocean.

“Anyone else want some!?” she shouted.

“Screw that, I already saw what that crazy red haired girl in guy’s clothes did,” a random teen commented as he backed away.

“Red haired girl in guy’s clothes?” Lauren questioned.

“Yeah, she headed off to the area of the beach where Powerhouse Park is and just disappeared after hitting the same guy!”

Lauren immediately dashed past everyone and quietly entered the base through a secret entrance. She believed that this girl had to have figured out how to get into their base and she was going to do something about it. After a few moments the heroine made her way into the main hall and heard footsteps closing in from the hallway where their rooms were.


As Jerry walked through the hallway wolfing down a breakfast bar and holding a bottle of water he heard a door shut.

“Uh oh…” he thought, “Someone’s here…and I still don’t know how to change back into a guy…”

He finished the breakfast bar and the water as when he turned the corner he walked right into Lauren.

Chapter 3:

Explanation of Weirdness


“Aaaaah!” Jerry screamed in shock shortly before Lauren aimed a kick at his head.

The young man, now young woman, bent himself backwards before performing a set of flips to retreat.

“Who are you!?” Lauren shouted before charging after who she thought was a random intruder, “You’d better tell me right now or I’m gonna put you through a wall!”

“Lauren wait!” Jerry pleaded as he jumped to avoid a kick, “Hang on a second and let me explain!”

“How do you know my name!?” she shouted, “And that shirt is Jerry’s! Where’d you get it!?”

Jerry quickly ducked past Lauren but she grabbed and viciously pulled his pig tail, causing him to yelp and stop.

“Now tell me who you are!” the young woman shouted, “Or I’ll rip this stupid thing off your head!”

The red haired girl sighed and responded, “I…I’m Jerry…”

“Wha!?” Lauren exclaimed before she spun the person she was attack around and stared at her, “Jerry!?”

“Yeah…”

“But…how…what?”

“I have no idea. But I swear it’s me, believe me, I wouldn’t make this up.”

Lauren shook her head and rubbed her eyes before she stared at the now female Jerry and started chuckling. It wasn’t long before the chuckling turned into full blown laughter and she had to struggle to stand.

Jerry groaned, “Yeah…it’s really funny…”

“I’m, hahaha, sorry, hahaha, Jerry, but it, hahaha, really is funny!” Lauren gasped, “How long have you been stuck like this?”

“Since this morning. You have no idea how annoying those stupid cat callers on the beach are.”

“Oh I do; hahaha, so you’re the one that decked that guy.”

“Yeah…”

Lauren finally stopped laughing as she realized that Jerry wasn’t seeing the comedic side of the situation.

The dark haired girl placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder and stated, “Don’t worry buddy, we’ll figure out what’s wrong.”

Suddenly the base’s phone went off and the two ran over and answered to hear Sam’s voice coming through.

“Is anyone there? It’s Sam!”

“Yeah Jerry and I are here,” Lauren quickly replied, “What’s up?”

“Quick question: has anything odd happened to either of you?”

Lauren looked at Jerry and said, “You could say that.”

“You said Jerry’s there, why isn’t he talking?”

“Well…”

“Okay, different question then: has he turned into something?”

Jerry immediately ran to the phone, “How did you know that!?” he shouted out, ignoring the fact that he was a girl.

“Jerry? Alright! I knew it!”

“Knew what?” the two asked in unison.

Sam quickly replied, “Jerry, you’re a girl now. Do you have red hair and a pig-tail?”

“Yeah but how did you know?”

“Because I know what powers and abilities…plus what curses, we have. Think about it for a moment; when did you turn into a girl?”

“It happened right after I took a shower.”

“Was the water cold?”

“Freezing.”

“Think about that.”

Jerry thought for a moment and then exclaimed, “I’m Ranma!”

“Exactly, and considering it took me an hour to find my own house I believe I would be Ryoga.”

Lauren quickly intervened in the conversation, “Woa, woa, woa! What the hell are you two talking about?”

Sam fielded the question, “Okay, you know how Jerry was running the alternate powers program and the internet search when the computer overloaded?”

“Yeah.”

“Well it gave us the abilities and subsequent curses of the characters of the Ranma ½ anime. Jerry is now the main character, Ranma Saotome. When Ranma gets hit with cold water, due to a curse, he turns into a red haired girl. I’m Ryoga Hibiki; who gets lost really, really easily and can take a week just to walk a block down the street. Which brings me to wonder who you turned into.”

Jerry shrugged, “Well let’s see, her hair is black so she can only really be one of two people. Either Akane or Ukyo; and since you hair is short; I’d say Akane.”

Lauren tensed up, “Does this Akane turn into anything?”

“Nope.”

“Thank you god…”

Sam quickly added, “Though she does have a very short temper and since we’re obviously being influenced by the characters’ personalities; be careful okay?”

Lauren blushed when she remembered bashing the teen on the beach with a mallet and replied, “Too late…”

Jerry sighed in relief, “Well at least now I know how to turn back. But I wonder who Brad turned into.”

Lauren heard something and turned to the entrance before her jaw practically dropped off her face, “Um…”

Jerry looked over to see a giant panda standing in the entranceway and he started chuckling before he began to laugh uncontrollably.

The panda quickly held up a sign that said, “Shut up.”

This just made Jerry laugh even harder and he exclaimed, “Oh man this is great! Brad’s Genma!”

Brad held up another sign which read, “At least I’m not a girl.”

Lauren ignored the two for a moment and asked, “Hey Sam, how do we turn them back to normal?”

“Just douse them with hot water; it’ll turn both of them back to normal. Also…can someone come and pick me up; I’d probably take all month to get to the base like this…”

She nodded, “Yeah, don’t worry about it.”

Jerry and Brad quickly ran for the bathroom while Lauren watched them pushing and hitting each other to get to the sink first.

“No good is going to come from these powers,” she muttered.

Without warning the sound of the sink breaking rang through the base and steam from the hot water shot from the bathroom. Lauren simply shook her head as her two friends reemerged from the bathroom in their original forms; albeit soaked.

Jerry threw up his arms in victory, “I’m a guy again! Woo!”

Brad smiled, “I can talk…though I still have this strange craving for bamboo…”

Lauren put her face in her palms for a few seconds before she stated, “I’m going to pick up Sam; you two stay here.”

Brad scratched his head, “Why you?”

“Because I want both of you to fix the sink and then work on the computer. Plus Sam seems to have a good amount of knowledge on the origins of our abilities so I can get all the information I need from him. That…that and I’m probably gonna beat the crap out of both of ya if I don’t get out of here in the next ten seconds. Get it?”

The other two nodded and said in unison, “Got it!”

“Good,” she replied before Lauren turned around and left the base to go get Sam.

Jerry turned to Brad and asked, “Are we really that bad?”

Suddenly the entire bathroom let out a massive bang and hot water rocketed past them and created a barrier in the hallway.

The blond hero produced an embarrassed smile, “Maybe just a little.”


A set of groans filled the main hall in the villains’ base as they finally regained consciousness. A hand placed itself on the computer panel as a shadowed Trent pulled himself up. Meanwhile the others composed themselves, yet they felt different and even in the darkened room they could tell that they looked different as well.

“What happened?” Blaze groaned as he rubbed his eyes.

“No clue…” Psyonic replied.

Trent stood up straight and stated, “Our enemies shall regret this…”

Chapter 4:

Personality Problems


Lauren yawned as she drove down Sam’s street towards his house and took a sip from a cup of coffee she had picked up on the way.

“This day has been exhausting and it’s only noon,” she muttered before stopping her car at her friend’s house, “And it’s probably going to get worse before it gets better.”

After waiting for a few minutes a black haired Sam finally came running out of his house and over to Lauren’s car.

As he got in he quickly said, “Thanks for picking me up.”

Lauren shook her head as they left and replied, “I still don’t get why you couldn’t get to the base by yourself. This is why I decided to come and get you; so you can explain what is up with these powers that we’ve gotten.”

Sam chuckled, “It’s complicated…and weird.”

Suddenly the car lurched as it pulled out onto El Camino Real and began to speed towards the freeway.

“Well you’re going to explain it anyway,” Lauren said through gritted teeth, “Because I want to know what the hell is going on!”

“Yes ma’am!”


“We fixed it!” Brad and Jerry exclaimed.

The two friends shook hands as they stood in front of the sink, now fixed…though with some duct tape and crazy glue.

Jerry let out a sigh of relief, “Alright, now let’s get to work on the computer. It shouldn’t be too hard for both of us!”


In what seemed like seconds (though it was really minutes) the two were standing in front of the now sparking computer holding pieces of it.

“This computer stuff is really hard without Mr. Fantastic’s super intelligence,” Jerry chuckled as he dropped a panel for the computer on the floor.

Brad shook his head before he asked, “What about if I do this?”

By just touching one part of the main system with his finger, Brad set off a reverberation that caused circuit boards to drop out onto the floor. A few more sparks flew and some smoke then began to float out of the machine as the two stared with widened eyes.

“This is bad,” Jerry stated as he tried hitting a few buttons.

Suddenly the entire monitor sent out arcs of electricity and exploded; the shockwave sending the two friends reeling.

“Definitely bad!” both shouted.


Lauren rubbed her head while waiting at a red light at 15th street after Sam finished giving her a condensed description of the Ranma ½ anime.

“Okay,” she started, “Let me get this straight. The show is about a teenage boy who, along with his father; gets cursed in a weird training ground in China. The boy, Ranma, turns into a girl whenever he’s splashed with cold water; and his father turns into a Panda. Ranma is also engaged to roughly three different girls at one point or another; one of which is Akane, who is about as pig-headed as Ranma; and is a tough tomboy. Also, Ranma has multiple rivals who are more or less, insane; one is Ryoga; who is really strong…but gets lost so badly that it usually takes him about a week to reach a location next-door to where he starts.”

“You got it,” Sam replied as she drove around looking for a space.

“So those are the four characters we now have the powers; abilities; curses and slight personalities of?”

“Yeah.”

Lauren sighed as she found a parking space and replied, “Anything else I should know in terms of their personalities?”

“Well all three of the characters you, Brad or I have the ‘personalities’ of don’t get along with Ranma very well.”

“Terrific.”


Jerry and Brad coughed and gagged as black smoke was now billowing out of the damaged computer. They both stumbled away and walk into the docking area for the jet car to try and escape the smoke.

“Well this sucks,” Jerry groaned as he caught his breath.

Brad nodded, “Maybe we should wait for Lauren and Sam to get back. It might take all four of us to get this working.”

“Hey I know how this computer works okay?”

“Then why don’t you fix it?”

“Maybe because you keep breaking it more!”

“Oh so it’s my fault you’re a lousy mechanic!?” Brad shouted before pressing a button to open the main door to let the smoke out.

Jerry ran over to him and exclaimed, “Hey don’t open that! People are going to see us!”

“And hear us too if you keep shouting!”


Sam and Lauren were both jogging towards Powerhouse Park after they parked since they realized that the personalities of the Ranma characters may start to negatively affect them.

“Why didn’t you tell me that Ranma and Genma fight all the time!?” Lauren growled as they ran, “Jerry and Brad are probably at each others’ throats!”

Sam shook his head as they reached Powerhouse Park, “I doubt it! Those two have much more will power than we give them credit for.”

Suddenly they heard a shout and put on an extra burst of speed as they raced towards the base. The two friends arrived at the edge of the cliff just in time to see Brad and Jerry practically fly out of the base; the former getting kicked by the latter.

Just as they fell into the water Sam groaned, “Then again they also act like complete children.”

“I’m beginning to get a headache,” Lauren commented, “But we’ll be fine as long as we get them back into the base.”

However, the now female Jerry and Brad the Panda leapt out of the water and began to fight each other across the beach.

“That’s bad,” Sam and Lauren stated in unison.


“Get back here you bamboo eating furball!” Jerry shouted, not even realizing disturbance he and Brad were creating.

“Roar,” was all Brad could reply with as he decked Jerry and leapt away.

The red haired fighter growled in anger before following his/her opponent, both of them crashing through the beach goers. Sam and Lauren could only watch in horror as their friends knocked people over and sent others into shock at the sight of a random red haired girl fighting a giant panda.

“This is bad,” Lauren stated.

Brad jump up, landed in the grass near Powerhouse Park and took off running with Jerry hot on his trail.

“This is really bad,” Sam added before they started running after their crazed friends.

Jerry threw a punch at Brad who jumped over a car and held up a sign that said, “You fight like a girl.”

“You!” the boy turned girl screamed as he dashed towards his friend with his fists and jaw clenched.

Brad leapt into the air, landed on a roof before turning to face Jerry and swung out one of his arms. However he felt it hit something that the male version of his friend didn’t have and immediately recoiled with a shocked look on his panda face.

“Ru-Ro!” he growled.

Jerry was left stunned for a few moments before he closed his eyes and began, “Brad…” before he opened them and shouted, “You’re dead for that!”


Sam and Lauren stopped running when they reached the intersection in front of Sea Grove Park and watched as the two crazed fighters fought and ran off.

“There they go…” Sam said, “What should we do?”

Lauren put her face into her palms and could be heard saying, “Leave them…let’s just go back to the base and figure out how to get rid of these personalities and powers.”

“Alright.”

As they walked back sprinklers began to turn on and Sam’s eyes widened as cold water flew towards him.

Lauren thought of something and asked, “Quick question, do you turn into anything?”

She heard a weird sound and turned to see a little black piglet running around in circles.

Suddenly something in her mind clicked and she shouted, “CUUUUUUUTE!”

Chapter 5:

Public Disturbance


“Hey Trent,” the shadowed figure of Blaze called out, “The computer is showing that the four of them have split up.”

“Good…now our revenge can begin…”


About half an hour had gone by and the day found Jerry and Brad walking east across the bridge above the 5 Freeway. Both of them were back to their normal forms and Jerry was walking on the handrail with perfect balance.

“Worst…day…ever…” the shorter of the two commented.

Brad shrugged, “Could be worse.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, but I bet it could be.”

The currently black haired young man just sighed as he continued to walk on the railing. So far his entire day had been one stupid event after another; and now he and Brad had been separated from Sam and Lauren.

“Hey you were able to go into Vons and get us some hot water,” Brad commented, “At least your alternate form is still human. I turn into a freaking panda.”

“Yeah, a pervy panda…”

“I said I was sorry!”

“Sorry my ass!”

“Actually wouldn’t it be ‘sorry my chest?’” Brad commented before Jerry’s face began to twitch and the taller young man started laughing, “It was a joke man!”

“It…wasn’t…funny,” Jerry replied as he fought a smile.

“Then why are you smiling?”

“Because you always seem to ruin my bad mood.”

The two friends started laughing together as they neared the end of the bridge.

“Why don’t you jump down from there,” Brad asked, “You’re giving me vertigo by just walking on that thing.”

“We’re almost to the end, what does it matter? Nothing bad will happen; I do have Ranma’s sense of balance.”

“And nothing bad will happen if you jump down here. Now come on.”

Jerry shrugged and jumped down onto the sidewalk just as a car drove past through a puddle and dirty water splashed him.

The now red haired girl turned to a chuckling Brad and stated, “Nothing bad huh?”

“Pardon the quote but excuuuuse me princess,” the other replied.

“I hate you…”


Sam, who was now sporting a bright red hand print on his left cheek, shook his head as he stepped away from the still sparking computer. An angry Lauren sat in a chair near him with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.

“You could’ve told me you turned into a little pig so many times,” she said for the fifth time since they got back.

“And you didn’t have to slap me,” Sam responded, “Besides; it’s not my fault you let Akane’s personality take over your actions.”

“I wasn’t that bad,” Lauren muttered.

“You screamed in a girlish voice that I was cute and proceeded to cuddle me until I broke free of your grip and jumped in the hot water in the sink. What do you call that?”

“Well if you had told me that you transformed into a little pig in the first place I probably wouldn’t have done either!”

The two friends glared at each other before taking two deep breaths and calmed themselves.

“Sorry,” Lauren stated before holding out a hand, “Friends?”

Sam nodded, “Friends; and I’m sorry too. Now let’s get to work on the disaster known as the computer.”

Lauren took one look as a set of sparks fell from the main panel and replied, “I think I’d rather fight Skull Ninja.”


Jerry and Brad had been walking in the direction of the Highlands, not saying much as they went.

“Like I said before,” the now red haired girl began, “Worst, day, ever,” he then noticed Brad was about to make a comment and said, “And yes I do realize this shirt is a little small when I’m a girl.”

Brad snapped his fingers and said, “How’d you know I was going to mention that?”

“Because you’re you, that’s how.”

As the duo neared the intersection at El Camino Real, across the street from the Highlands, the blond young man asked, “So should I call you Jenny when you’re in this form?”

Jerry twitched, “What was that?”

“I mean people might figure it out if I call you Jerry so how about Jenny as an alia…you’re mad at me right now aren’t you?”

“Gee, what gave it a-WAY!?” Jerry emphasized the sound as he threw a kick at the now retreating Brad.

The tall hero jumped away to avoid a punch and quickly hopped past cars and across the street to the other sidewalk.

“It was just a joke!” he called out.

“Well it wasn’t funny!”

Brad was about to say something when a car drove through a puddle and splashed him; turning him into the panda form.

“Now that’s funny!” Jerry laughed.

Brad held up a sign that said, “Shut up Jenny.”

The red haired fighter growled before deciding to activate his costume to try and protect his identity. He pressed a button on his costume watch and a familiar flash occurred to signal the wardrobe change. When it faded, instead of wearing his normal costume, he was wearing the long sleeve red Chinese shirt and blue pants that Ranma wore in the anime.

“What the!?” he exclaimed.

Brad then held up a sign that said, “LOL, wardrobe malfunction?”

It was then that the remainder of Jerry’s patience snapped and he leapt over the street and landed next to the panda.

“You’re dead!” he shouted before attacking Panda Brad.

“Ru-Ro!”

The two began to fight each other up the sidewalk towards the entrance to the Del Mar Highlands, which was crowded as always.


Janet Allerdyce was walking through the Highlands’ parking lot when she saw a Panda run past her. She was about to say something when a red haired girl dressed like Ranma ran by as well and the two began to fight while dodging cars.

“What the heck?” she asked before taking off after them.


Brad jumped over a car and landed in front of Ralphs before he turned to face his crazed attacker. Jerry aimed a kick at him, but he leapt out of the way and the girl flew through the opening door into Ralphs. A loud crash was heard as the Panda took off running away while shouts from Jerry, employees and customers were heard. After he stopped a few feet away Brad turned to see what was going to happen next. Suddenly Jerry leapt out of the building and rushed the fur covered hero, who jumped away to avoid a flying kick.

A man walked out of Starbucks with an open cup of coffee and right after he took a sip he shouted, “Damn that’s too hot!” before accidently tossing the liquid into the air.

Panda Brad’s eyes widened as he splashed through the searing hot coffee and was transformed back into his human form. He yelped in pain before he pressed a button on his watch to activate his costume to hide his identity. However his outfit now resembled Genma’s as it was a white martial arts uniform, light blue doo-rag, sandals and a pair of glasses. He skidded to a halt before seeing the still angry and female Jerry running towards him.

“Fine!” he shouted before taking up a fighting stance, “Let’s go!”


Janet stopped a short ways away from the fight and her jaw almost dropped to the ground after seeing the Panda turn into Brad Banner.

“Sam and Lauren better know something about this…” she muttered before pulling out her cell phone and dialing.


The two heroes in question had just finished putting a panel back onto the computer when Sam’s phone rang.

He pulled it from his pocket and said, “Hey it’s Janet,” before pressing speaker phone and said, “Hey Janet.”

Suddenly they heard Janet ask, “Why is Brad fighting a girl dressed like Ranma in the middle of the Highlands?”

Both of them were completely caught off guard and turned to each other with scared looks on their faces.

Lauren then grabbed the phone and speedily replied, “We’re sorry, we’re experiencing technical difficulties at the moment. Please try again later!” before she hung up the phone and looked at Sam, “That’s not a good thing!”

The young man nodded, “I know, she’s gonna be ticked that you hung up on her.”

“I mean the fact that Jerry and Brad are dueling in the freaking Highlands!”

“Oh yeah, that too.”


A large amount of people had now gathered around to watch the fight between the two people dressed like anime characters. Neither of them even noticing how much attention they were getting, both fighters focused on trying to beat each other up. Brad dodged a kick and retaliated with a punch that Jerry blocked and gritted his teeth.

“Try this!” he shouted before he hands started to blur and he shouted, “Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken”

Suddenly Jerry seemed to throw out hundreds of punches within seconds and while Brad managed to block a few, the majority hit him and send him stumbling away. He quickly recovered and landed a kick on his opponent as he recovered from performing the attack. Brad then leapt over the girl and took up a fighting stance and prepared himself for Jerry’s next attack.


Janet didn’t know what to stare at with more shock, the fact that Brad and some weird red haired girl were fighting or her phone since Lauren had hung up on her.

“Something is going on here,” she thought, “Maybe Brad can give me an answer about this when he’s done fighting.”


Brad quickly shouted, “Come on already! Let’s stop this before someone gets hurt!”

Jerry whirled around, “What…like you!?”

The young man turned young woman rushed his target with his fists clenched and ready to go. He then jumped into the air and flew at Brad with a powerful kick aimed at the young man’s head. Brad acted quickly as he held up both of his hands, caught his friend’s foot before he used Jerry’s own momentum to send him flying past him. Jerry screamed as he flew through the air and the front of his body slammed into one of the stone pillars in front of Ralphs. Brad turned to see what happened and grimaced as his friend slowly fell back and crashed down onto the concrete.

The still standing fighter ran over and asked, “You okay?”

Jerry’s face was now red from the impact and he replied, “Maybe…you standing right above me?”

“Yeah, and hey, at least you had some extra cushioni…GAH!”

Brad screamed in pain after Jerry punched him square in the crotch just as Janet ran over to them.

“Ow…” the tall young man groaned before he dropped to the ground.

Chapter 6:

More Weirdness


Jerry let out a groan of pain as he slowly pulled himself up and put a hand on his face only to pull it away due to the pain.

“Ouch…” he muttered.

Janet reached the two and asked, “What the heck is going on?”

Without thinking the red haired girl replied, “Oh hey Jan…Gah!” before he/she recoiled with a shocked look.

As he tried to get back up Brad saw Janet and quickly said, “Hi Janet; nothing to see here. Just a little joking around.”

“Well who is this girl and why were you fighting with her?” Janet asked.

“Oh her, she’s ah…she’s Jerry’s cousin, Jennifer.”

Jerry started chuckling nervously, “Yeah, Jerry’s friend Brad and I were just having a little disagreement. Nothing to see here!”

Not buying it, Janet then asked, “Oh yeah, why were you in the form of a Panda Brad?”

Brad coughed and replied, “Panda? What are you talking about?”

“I saw you change…which means…oh god,” Janet leaned in close to the sweating Jerry and asked, “Jerry…is that you?”

“Ummm, in a way, yeah...” Jerry muttered, thoroughly embarrassed

“Are you really…are those…real?”

The transformed young man then shouted, “No! I figured I’d dress up like Ranma, dye my hair, stuff two softballs in my shirt and talk in this voice all day!”

Brad limped past Jerry and Janet before he said, “Jenny here will tell ya everything; I’m gonna get some hot water so he can man up…plus an ice pack.”


“You two attack their base,” Trent stated as he pointed to Blaze and Psyonic, “I will handle the two at the Highlands.”

All three nodded before leaving the base in a hurry; the still blown lights shadowing their looks.


Sam and Lauren were working on the computer when the latter’s phone started ringing.

“Uh oh, it’s Janet,” the black haired girl stated before she stood up and answered, “Hello…”

“What is wrong with you people!?” she heard a shout that blared over the speaker phone.

Sam sat up, “I’m guessing she figured out about Jerry and Brad.”

“Damn right I did!” both friends recoiled before Janet asked, “So who did you two turn into?”

Sam let out a sigh, “Ryoga and Akane.”

“Did Lauren find out about little P-Chan?” a chuckling voice asked.

The young man held a hand to his cheek as Lauren replied, “If by P-Chan you mean him turning into a little pig then yes…”

“Hehehe, alright. I’ll make sure Jerry and Brad get back safely,” Janet stated before the phone hung up.

Lauren looked down at Sam and asked, “Am I the only one who doesn’t know about this show?”

“Well I don’t think Brad does but…”

“Just shut up and let’s fix this damn computer.”

“Yes ma’am.”


Brad, Janet and the now male Jerry stood behind the Ralphs as the now lone female of the group put away her phone.

“You four are so weird,” Janet commented, “Now why were you and Brad fighting?”

Jerry sighed, “The personalities of the Ranma characters we have the abilities of are also present in us.”

The three friends started walking towards the entrance by the movie theater as Brad and Jerry explained what happened to them.

“So our theory is that Trent and his cronies…” Brad started.

“Oh it’s no theory,” Jerry interrupted, “I know Captain Hair-Gel and his squad of schmucks did this! Who else could have done it?”

“I doubt this is what they intended on doing.”

Janet shook her head with a smile, “I think it’s funny.”

The pig-tailed hero glared at her, “I don’t…and I want to fix this as soon as possible.”

Janet ruffled his hair jokingly and laughed, “So I’m guessing you won’t be joining the feminist club at college then?”

Brad started laughing as his embarrassed friend groaned and replied, “No…and I won’t be trying out for any of the women’s sports teams before you ask that too.”

She snapped her fingers and said, “Drat! Can I at least take you shopping to help me try on outfits?”

Jerry’s face twisted as his patience thinned, “Dear god no…I think I’d rather die in a fire…while being eaten by rabid dogs…with razors for teeth.”

Brad was clutching his sides as he roared with laughter, “Aw come on man, won’t you at least model a dress for her and Lauren? Hahaha!”

Jerry was about to start another fight as they passed through the food court when they heard a shout. All three turned to see people fleeing from the front of the theater as a young man dressed in a dark blue martial arts uniform holding a bokken walked towards them.

“Oh there’s no way…” Jerry muttered.

“…is that who I think it is?” asked Brad.

The young man came into view and they immediately recognized him as Trent, though he was obviously not his normal self.

“Greeting rivals,” he stated in a more civilized tone than usual, “I have come to do battle with you.”

Janet rolled her eyes and muttered, “Great…he’s Kuno…”

Trent pointed his bokken at the trio and declared, “I am known as the Black Wind of San Diego! Trent Fisk…age twenty.”

Jerry shook his head, “I don’t care what you’re calling yourself Trent. But I’ve been itching for a fight with ya! Besides, you can’t fight Brad and me! Right Brad!?” after a second of not hearing a response he turned to his friend and shouted, “Brad what are you…”

He stopped in mid sentence upon seeing the now Panda Brad standing next to him holding a cup of ice.

“Oh come on!” Jerry roared.

Panda Brad quickly held up a sign, “I’ll let you handle this.”

“Stupid panda!” he growled before turning to face Trent, “At least get Janet away from here.”

“Rur!” the panda growled before he picked up a protesting Janet and ran away.

Jerry shook his head, “It is so hard to find good help these days…”

Trent nodded, “I know what you mean, all the other three villains do is piss and moan all freaking day! You’d think they’d shut up for five minutes.”

“Oh and isn’t it annoying having only one girl in the group?”

“It is! The minute the guy talk starts she walks in and then you gotta skew the conversation away to something else!”

Jerry threw out his hands, “I know! So what if we want to talk about the gory action flick? We’re guys! That’s what we do!”

Trent did the same gesture, “Oh and heaven forbid you leave the damn toilet seat up. You ever piss off someone who can throw the contents of a room at you?”

“That’s nothing compared to someone who can encase you in a bubble every time you cut one and then set you free when you’re about to pass out!”

Suddenly Trent asked, “Wait…why are talking like this?”

Jerry shook his head, “No clue…wanna fight now?”

“Okay.”

The two got into fighting stances before Trent shouted, “Your clever trick of engaging me in small talk will not save you!”

“Then show me what you got Fisk!” Jerry replied.


Sam stood on the cliff that the base was nested in and looked out over the ocean as Lauren walked over to him.

“How come you’re up here?” she asked.

“I needed to get out of the base…plus I was actually trying to find my own room,” Sam replied before he chuckled, “Guess Ryoga really has no sense of direction after all.”

“Heh, I guess I got off easy with my character.”

“Except for the temper thing.”

“It’s not…that bad…”

“I heard you threaten Brad and Jerry over the phone…”

“Okay so maybe I’m having some temper problems…what’s wrong with that!?”

Sam was about to say something when he heard a whirring sound that was starting to get louder. Realizing what it was he quickly tackled Lauren and she was about to shout at him when a set of spinning blades flew over them.

“What the hell!?” she exclaimed as they jumped up and saw two strangely dressed people running towards them.

Sam shook his head as he recognized the outfits and said, “Oh you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Lauren got a confused look on her face as she asked, “Is that Blaze and Psyonic?”

“In a way.”

Psyonic, now sporting blue hair and wearing an ancient Chinese outfit, jumped down in front of them. She was followed by Blaze, who had long black hair, giant glasses and a Chinese outfit with giant sleeves.

“What the hell are they?” Lauren asked as she got ready to fight.

Sam let out a sigh, “Shampoo and Mousse…great, it looks like the computer backfire affected them too,” he quickly pressed a button on his costume watch; but he soon reappeared wearing a yellow long sleeve shirt, green pants, a yellow and black headband and a red Japanese umbrella was strapped to his back; he shrugged and commented, “Now I see how Jerry was dressed as Ranma…”

Lauren quickly activated her costume but instead she appeared wearing a martial arts uniform and she groaned, “This is so stupid and weird.”

Sam got into a fighting stance and commented, “It’s better than the school girl outfit.”

The young woman shuddered before Psyonic shouted, “Now we kill you two!”

Blaze nodded, “Prepare to face your doom!”

Both heroes then replied, “Bring it on!”

Chapter 7:

Fighting Time!


Jerry leapt into the air to avoid a bokken strike before he countered by kicking Trent in the back of the head. The weapon using young man whirled around, swinging the wooden training sword as he went. Though the attack missed its target, the wind current it created smashed through tables and chairs. Trent then executed a flurry of stabbing attacks that created similar, yet smaller, wind currents that Jerry used all of his newfound agility to dodge.

“Man I’m lucky you got the abilities of the weakest rival in the show,” Jerry commented as he connected with a roundhouse kick to his enemy’s head.

Trent was knocked to the side and now had his back facing the stairs leading down to the lower area of the shopping center.

“You shall pay for your insolence!” he shouted.

Jerry smiled before he shook his head, “I don’t think so sword boy! Try the Chestnuts Roasting over an Open Fire Fist: KACHU TENSHI AMAGURIKEN!”

Suddenly the young man unleashed an incredibly fast barrage of punches, all connecting with Trent’s body. He quickly followed up with a jumping sidekick that sent both of them flying off of the ground and falling down to the lower parking lot.


“Put me down now!” Janet shouted as Panda Brad stopped in front of Ralphs and placed her on the ground.

“What’s up?” asked a sign he held up.

“Oh come on you cowardly fur ball! Go back there and help Jerry!”

Brad quickly wrote on another sign, “But I’m a panda. Peaceful Panda Brad.”

Janet grabbed a cup of coffee that had been left on a table and splashed the boiling liquid on the panda. This quickly resulted in a screaming Brad appearing, trying to wipe off the coffee.

“So not cool!” he shouted.

“Now get out there and help Jerry.”

Brad sighed, “Fine, ruin my fun,” before running off to the fight.


Blaze jumped into the air, swung out his arms and a massive cluster of knives and daggers flew from his sleeves. Sam quickly drew his umbrella, opened it and held it up like a shield to deflect the projectiles. It worked and the young man instinctively jumped to the side to avoid a sword that got stuck in the ground where he had been standing.

“Damn it!” Blaze shouted.

“Here let me help,” Sam said before he rushed forward with his index finger extended and shouted, “Bakusai Tenketsu Breaking Point Technique!”

The second Sam’s finger struck near the sword, the ground practically exploded as rocks and debris flew in hundreds of directions. Blaze yelped as most of the debris struck him and he leapt away to avoid the rest of the rocks. Sam jumped after him and struck his rival in the back with his umbrella; sending him flying off of the cliff and down onto the beach.


Lauren dodged a kick from Psyonic that broke through a tree before the two young women exchanged blows. The blue haired fighter ducked a punch but received a knee to the face which knocked her back a few paces. She quickly retaliated with a kick that, while Lauren did her best to dodge, caught the side of her face. The dark haired heroine growled in anger and pain before she rushed Psyonic, punched the villain in the face and then tackled her to the ground. A punch that threatened to smash Psyonic’s face was dodged and went through the dirt.

“Just stay still so I can beat you!” Lauren shouted before she leapt away to avoid a pair of sweeping legs before her opponent jumped to her feet.

“Same to you!” the blue haired villain shouted.


Jerry kicked Trent into a set of chairs and took up a fighting stance as his enemy turned to face him.

“You ready to give up?” the confident hero asked.

“I shall never admit defeat to you!” Trent shouted before he rushed his opponent with his bokken drawn.

Jerry leapt over the charging villain and turned to see the young man’s sword smash into the water droplet fountain in the center of the lower food court.
The impact caused water to erupt in multiple directions and the transforming fighter shouted, “Water! Why is it always water!?” before the liquid overtook him.

Trent leapt away to avoid the water but when he heard something rushing towards him and turned just in time to receive a punch from Brad. The villain practically flew from the impact, splashed through the geyser and rolled across the concrete.

“Ah man,” Brad complained as he avoided the water, “I thought Gel boy would turn into something too.”

The now female Jerry stumbled over and shook off some of the water that had drenched him/her.

“Unfortunately he doesn’t. Find your courage oh cowardly lion?”

“Shut up girly man.”

Janet ran down to meet them and chuckled, “Jerry do you like that form or something?”

“No I don’t! It’s not my fault I’m getting hit with cold water!” he screamed before a thought came to mind, “Wait…if Trent Kuno here was attacking us; what about the others!?”


Sam dodged a kitchen sink before shouting, “I guess that answers that question!”

Blaze had been throwing literally everything from his sleeves at Sam for the last few minutes. After the sink he pulled a set of javelins out and began tossing them at the fleeing hero with incredible speed.

“Haven’t you run out of crap to throw at me yet!?’ short haired fighter called out as he avoided the last javelin.

“Nope!” Blaze replied before he drew a set of shurikens and began launching them at his target.

Sam tripped as he ran and his enemy was about to take him out when suddenly Psyonic dropped on the long haired warrior. Lauren jumped down next to Sam and the two immediately rushed their stunned and grounded enemies.

“Do they turn into anything!?” Lauren asked.

“Toss ‘em into the ocean and find out!” Sam replied as they reached the duo.

The two friends lifted and threw their opponents into the ice cold water before they breathed sighs of relief. Suddenly a duck with glasses and a pink cat jumped out of the ocean and began running away from Sam and Lauren, quacking and meowing as they went.

“Does that answer your question?” Sam asked as they followed the two animals towards Powerhouse Park.


Jerry leapt out of Janet’s still moving car and raced towards the park, not knowing if the others were okay. Brad quickly jumped out after his friend, shouting about him still being in his girl form and running at top speed.

Jerry turned around, “I know! Who cares, I can still fight anyway!”

However, just as he turned around a pink cat leapt into his face and he let out a shriek before running around in circles.

Sam and Lauren came running to see who was screaming when they saw Cat Psyonic latched onto Female Jerry’s face.

“Oh crap!” Sam shouted before he ran over to his friend, grabbed the cat and threw her away.

Jerry twitched for a second before he looked at Sam and said, “Thanks…” before he fell onto the grass.

Lauren walked over and asked, “What the hell was that about?”

The umbrella wielding fighter turned to her and said, “Ranma is afraid of cats.”

She looked down on the twitching Jerry and shook her head, “Oh you’ve got to be kidding me. Also…why is he a girl again?”

Brad ran over and replied, “We were fighting Trent at the Highlands. He sorta broke the water main under the droplet fountain. Jerry got a nice blast of cold water from it and then we immediately raced here to see if you two were okay.”

“Well I’m glad you’re back here. Neither of us could figure out how to fix the computer.”

Jerry coughed and sat up, “Neither could we…which means we have a serious problem now.”

Brad chuckled and commented, “Actually in your case it’s two problems but…GAH!”

Suddenly both Jerry and Lauren punched Brad in the groin at the same time and he keeled over in pain.

Sam took a step back and sighed, “We really need to get turned back to normal.”

Suddenly the young man was splashed with cold water and turned into a little pig that squealed at something and took off running.

The others were about to ask what was going on when Janet ran past them shouting, “Piggy!”

Lauren let out a groan, “I was wondering how you got here so quickly. Let’s get inside before something else stupid happens.”

Chapter 8:

Attack!


Jerry had changed back into a man and was now shaking his head as he looked at the computer, “It’s hopeless. Unless I regain Mr. Fantastic’s intellect I can’t fix the computer.”

Lauren looked at him with disappointment and fear in her eyes, “But without the computer we can’t get our powers back. We’ll be stuck like this forever!”

“I know. But what do you want me to do? Wave a magic wand? Lauren, it’s broken, busted and completely kaput.”

“What about the other alternate powers you’ve made, could any of those give you the ability to fix it?”

Jerry shook his head again, “Good idea, but no. The only ones close enough are the Alchemist powers; but I could only use those to fix the frame of it. Without a perfect image of what the inside of the computer looked like; I wouldn’t be able to transmute it properly.”

Sam walked over and groaned, “I hate turning into a pig.”

Lauren let out a sigh, “You might need to get used to it. We can’t fix this piece of junk.”

“What!?” the young man recoiled in horror, “You mean I’m gonna be stuck like this for the rest of my life!? No, no, no, no, hell no!”

Brad sat down in a chair near them and asked, “What about the computer at bad dude central?” the other three turned to him before he said, “I mean, if they could hack into our system; I bet they have the tech to fix this.”

Jerry blinked, “Great Scott he’s right.”

Lauren chuckled, “I guess the sun even shines on a dog’s ass some days.”

Brad stood up, “We getting’ a dog?”

Sam shook his head with a smile, “Or some seconds at least. But Brad’s got a good point. I say we take the fight to Tatewaki Fisk and the goon squad!”

Jerry cracked his knuckles and replied, “Fine by me! Let’s move out!”


“Gah that’s hot!” Blaze shouted as he changed back into his human form and clothed himself.

Trent growled at the failure of his subordinates, “You both failed so miserably it’s pathetic to even acknowledge what you did as an attempt.”

Psyonic glared at him, “You fail too Trent! So shut up!”

Blaze looked at their computer and said, “Hey they’re heading here…probably to take us out.”

Trent smiled, “Then we’ll just have to use our secret weapon this time…plus lots of cold water…”


The Fanteenstic Four’s jet car touched down in front of their enemies’ base and the four friends jumped out.

“We look like a bunch of Comic-Con cosplayers,” Sam mentioned as he gripped the handle on his umbrella.

“Should we split up or just rush them?” Brad asked.

Jerry opened the front door quietly, “Let’s just bust in, bust them up and figure out how to change ourselves back.”

The other three nodded before they ran inside and Brad led the way towards the main hall.

“We’re almost there,” he commented before he turned a corner and as he entered the largest room a bucket of cold water splashed him in the face.

“Crap they know we’re here!” Sam exclaimed before he ducked another bucket.

Panda Brad growled “Roar!” before he rushed inside and headed straight for Trent. The two immediately squared off as the villain swung his bokken at his larger opponent.

Lauren ran towards Psyonic as the blue haired villain launched cold water at her attacker. Though she was hit by the liquid, Lauren didn’t have another form to change into and she landed a punch on her surprised enemy.

“I don’t change idiot…but now I’m soaked!”

Sam and Jerry ran in and dodged water thrown by Blaze, who quickly received a pair of clotheslines that knocked him to the ground. Both followed up with two punches to the long haired villain’s stomach before they jumped back and smiled.

“Got him!” they shouted.

Trent’s unconscious form was thrown down in front of them, followed closely by Psyonic.

Brad and Lauren walked over and the former held up a sign that said, “That was easy.”

Jerry looked around and replied, “Too easy…plus, where’s Annihilator.”

Sam readied himself, “Good point…I wonder who he turned into.”

“Considering our luck I bet he’s Taro.”

“Who?”

“Oh right, you didn’t get that far. He uh…he turns into a giant monster when hit with cold water.”

Lauren shuddered, “Great…”

Suddenly they all heard a voice that sounded nothing like Annihilator say, “Why don’t you look over here?”

Sam tapped Jerry on the shoulder and whispered, “That sounds like someone I don’t want him to have the abilities of.”

His friend nodded as they turned to look in a corner and the lights finally kicked back on so they could see what Annihilator was. They were greeted by someone who was barely three feet tall and looked like a mini-me version of Annihilator. Panda Brad and Lauren started chuckling at the sight while Jerry and Sam’s faces were masks of horror and fear.

“And I shall call him…mini me!” Lauren stated.

Brad held up a sign that said, “He’s gonna bite our ankles!”

Jerry gulped, “Oh crap we’re dead…he’s…he’s…”

Sam nodded in agreement, “…Happosai…we are so dead…”

Lauren turned to look at them with confusion stamped on her face, “What are you two talking about? He looks like he shriveled up into a prune.”

Annihilator smiled and said in his strange voice, “You should listen to them.”

She stomped towards the midget and asked boldly, “And why is that!?”

Jerry quickly realized something and shouted, “Lauren wait!”

Annihilator looked at his attacker and suddenly his character took over and he leapt at her with a weird expression on his face. Jerry intervened and body slammed the smaller fighter before assaulting him with a barrage of punches and kicks. Lauren was about to ask what was going on when Brad rushed past her and joined in the fight.

She was ready to fight when Sam jumped in front of her and said, “Lauren, forget about him! Go find the computer and get us our powers back! We’ll hold Annihilator off!”

“What!? How come you three fight and I have to do the sideline crap!? You don’t think I can take him do you?”

Sam shook his head, “It’s not just that! You don’t understand; the character that Annihilator has the form and abilities of; Happosai is extremely dangerous. Not only is he really powerful…he’s also a…really dirty old man.”

Lauren was going to ask what he meant when it dawned on her and she cringed, “Oh god! Ew! Alright fine; you fight small and pervy then!”

The two split up as Sam ran towards the fight and Lauren hunted down the computer.

Chapter 9:

Crazy Battle


Brad crashed into a wall and held up a sign, “I quit.”

Jerry was getting pummeled when Sam leapt in and hit Annihilator like a baseball with his umbrella. The small villain was sent flying across the room and the two friends braced themselves for the inevitable retaliation.

“Where’s Lauren?” Jerry asked.

“I told her about the old freak,” Sam replied, “She’s looking for the computer.”

“Good, now let’s kick some ass!”

Annihilator jumped up towards the two and pulled out what looked like a firecracker before he shouted, “Happo-fire burst!”

Both heroes yelped as they dove in opposite directions before the object exploded and sent them reeling. Jerry recovered first before he leapt at the little monster and dealt him a punch to the face.

“Try this!” he shouted as his hands started to blur, “Kachu Tenshi Amaguriken!”

Hundreds of punches struck Annihilator and stunned him before a kick sent him flying into a wall. Jerry landed next to him and smiled as he dove at the villain with the intent to finish him off. However, the little fighter dodged and kicked the young man in the back of the head, sending him crashing to the floor. Annihilator pulled out another one of the fire bombs and an evil grin appeared on his face as he readied the weapon.

Sam jumped in with his index fingers extended and shouted, “Bakusai Tenketsu!”

The first finger hit the ground sending pieces of debris flying at the small villain and stunned him. The next finger hit the bomb just as Sam grabbed Jerry and jumped away; setting off the explosion as they went. Both were flung across the room by the blast and rolled across the ground before they stood up slowly.

“Think that did it?” Jerry asked.

“Let’s hope so.”

As the smoke and debris cleared they started to smile but immediately stopped when they saw Annihilator walking towards them.

“Great…” they both groaned.


Lauren was on the opposite side of the room and typing furiously on the computer, the sounds of battle ringing through the building. She was desperately trying to find some remnants of the alternate powers program that Trent had hacked into so they could turn back to normal. After hearing a groan she whirled around and kicked a bucket of cold water right into Psyonic’s face and turned her into her cat form.

“Bad kitty!” Lauren growled, “Now back off and let me find a way to fix this!”


Another fire bomb went off and sent Jerry and Sam reeling to the ground in pain while Annihilator had barely been injured.

“This isn’t working!” Jerry shouted, “What are we gonna do!?”

Sam looked over where Lauren was, saw something and thought for a moment, “I might have an idea…but we need to distract him first.”

“And how are we gonna…” Jerry noticed that Sam was looking back and forth at a bucket of cold water and himself before he waved his hands, “No! You are not using my female form as bait for him!”

Annihilator leapt at them shouting, “You’re both done!”

Suddenly the large form of Panda Brad tackled the small fighter and the two began to exchange blows.

Sam stood up, “Come on man, this is the only way!”

Jerry groaned as he doused himself with the liquid and replied, “I’m so getting back at you for this,” as he turned into a girl.

“Fine, you’ll kick my ass in Street Fighter later. Now hold him off and I’ll be right back!”

As Sam ran off in Lauren’s direction Jerry charged towards where Panda Brad and Annihilator were fighting.


Lauren saw Sam running over to her and said, “I can’t find the program!”

The young man picked up the growling Cat-Psyonic and said, “I’ll find it; just get catwoman here over to the others and throw her at Jerry.”

“But you said Ranma’s personality made him afraid of cats.”

“It does; but if he’s backed into a corner it’ll help him fight. Now go!”


Annihilator kicked Panda Brad to the ground and readied another fire bomb.

Jerry was about to make his move when both he and his enemy heard Lauren shout, “Jerry! Over here!”

Annihilator saw Lauren running towards him and Happosai’s instincts took over as he jumped at the approaching heroine.

Jerry saw the midget leap towards his friend and as he ran towards them he realized he wouldn’t reach them in time. He then decided that there was only one action left to do that would distract Annihilator and took a deep breath.

“Hey little freak!” he/she shouted, “Check this out!”

Lauren and Annihilator turned just as Jerry tore open his shirt and the little villain’s face practically exploded as he crashed into the floor. The young man turned young woman’s friend’s jaw almost dropped at what he had done.

She then got angry and shouted, “Put those away!” before she threw the cat Psyonic at Jerry as hard as she could.

Just as Jerry closed his shirt Psyonic latched her claws onto him and he started to run around screaming.

“That better do something fast…” Lauren thought as Annihilator stood up.

The small fighter looked at her and said, “You’re mine!”

Suddenly they both heard a meowing sound and saw Jerry on all fours with an unconscious Psyonic next to him. The hero was hissing and meowing like a cat and Lauren took a few steps away, not wanting to be near what was going to happen next.

Jerry let out a cat-like shriek before he rushed Annihilator and began scratching at him wildly with his hands like they were cat paws. The assault overwhelmed Annihilator and he roared in pain as his enemy’s finger nails cut into him.


After a few crucial minutes Sam finally discovered the remains of the alternate powers program.

“Here we go!” he shouted before pressing keys.

Suddenly he heard a crash and saw the cat-like Jerry fighting against Annihilator.

Lauren ran over and shouted, “Sam! What the hell is Jerry doing!?”

“It’s called the Cat Fist. Whenever Ranma, or in this case Jerry, is caught in a situation where he is overwhelmed by cats he becomes one. It increases his strength and he becomes a very powerful berserker. I’ve never seen Ranma get defeated while using it so I figured it would work now.”

“Well how do we stop it? We need him back to a normal mind before we return to our normal powers or he might stay this way!”

“In the show Ranma returned to normal when Akane called him over.”

Lauren shrugged, “Guess it’s up to me then.”

“Go and calm him down. I’m almost ready so just let me know when and I’ll return all of us to normal.”


Annihilator did his best to run from his attacker and shouted, “Someone get him away from me!”

Lauren ran over and called out, “Here kitty, kitty! Come here!”

Jerry, at hearing the sound of the calls, immediately stopped his attack and leapt over to Lauren. He caught her off guard and she sat down before her friend curled up in her lap and began to purr.

“Man I wish I had a video camera for this,” she chuckled, “Good kitty…good, boy…girl…ah whatever.”

Female Jerry suddenly leaned up and kissed Lauren, causing her to freak out and punch him in the face.

“You idiot you’re still a girl!” she exclaimed before she shouted out, “Sam activate the damn computer!”


Sam pressed a button that sent out a huge flash from the computer that engulfed the entire building. As the light faded everyone reappeared in their normal costumes and forms much to their relief.

Jerry leapt up and shouted, “Yes! I’m a guy again! But why does my face hurt?”

Lauren growled, “Oh like you have to ask.”

Brad and Sam walked over and the former asked, “What happened?”

Without thinking about their reaction she shouted, “He kissed me while he was cat minded and in his girl form!”

Brad shrugged and replied before anyone could stop him by saying, “Kinky.”


From outside the building a slap could be heard that echoed for miles.






Author’s Notes


And that’s all folks! The end of the technically “Lost Fanteenstic Four Story” aka The Fanteenstic Four 8 ½. At this point it’s obvious that the title isn’t just a joke about the placement of the fic; but of the source material as well.

In all honesty these Author’s Notes are gonna be pretty short since I don’t have too much to say about the fic but here we go:

First off I’d like to pat myself on the back for the innuendo laced jokes regarding Jerry’s female form. Do you have any idea how hard it is to make jokes involving a female body when you don’t like including sexual jokes in your story?

Seriously now, I think I should explain how I got the idea for this story and why I didn’t write it in the first place:

Like I said at the start of the story: originally I thought up this fic as either a second half of the 8th story (which is why that one is so short) or as a standalone one as the 9th. It was going to be the 9th until I decided to do the Improv Night version and it was pushed over to become the second part of the 8th. Of course before I even started the 8th I sorta lost interest in the Ranma ½ anime series. To be blunt; the show has no ending and it kinda burned me a little. I actually ended up writing a trilogy of Ranma fan fics and that used up the remainder of creativity I had involving the series.

So this story was scrapped and I didn’t think twice about leaving it behind. However, a few months ago I found Season 6 (in my opinion the best one) of the show for 5 bucks and after watching it my interest in making this fic was renewed. So I decided in honor of the 5th Anniversary of The Fanteenstic Four I would write this one out and finalize the series. Overall I like how it turned out and I hope everyone got a good laugh…even if most of it was at my expense.

So until next time; see ya!