This Is My Story, till death do them part?

[tami32]

my name is tammy and ive been with my i.v drug user boyfriend for 11years. it has destroyed our lives and the life of our 4 kids. i know it sounds stupid but he was never this way,he started out as an alcoholic in and out of jail for years then one day he substatuted boze for drugs a few pills here and there the next thing you know it was shootn up.after being in jail for 2 years he got out tryed methadone but still getting high.then last summer he was found in an elevator passed out,i went to the hospital and the doctors rushed me in and told me he was going to die his heart stoped 4times, his gulbladder exploded in his stomach and it was poisining him,anyway he recovered,only to get worse.the beginning of winter he got high again and fell down an imbankment braking his ankle,the bone coming out of his skin,he crawled out onto a lawn of someones home screaming he was rushed into surgery and once again survived. his family doctor started giving him 200. 40mg oxycontin at a time just lately. i have phoned her several times and told her wat hes been doing only for her to tell me"unless he tells me he has a problem i cant stop his meds" last sat i found my boyfriend in the washroom sitting on the toilet with his head in the bathub blood all over his face i phoned 911 they came and took him to the hospital,11o'clock that night i got a phone call fron the cops,he was passed out on the street,they said he OD but refused to stay at the hospital and had discharged himself.the ambulance wanted to take him back but he refused.instead the police brought him back along with ALL his needles and spoons. the count of his meds that nite were150 oxycontin. so i dumped them out in hopes to save him for a few days.the next day he went in the dumpster loolking for anyold spoons i may have thrown out.to my amazement i left to get groceries only to come back to find him shooting up using a dirty spoon and syringe. i was just mindboggled. i couldnt understand why or how someone that use to have morals and respect for themselves and others could lower themselfs to those standards.but i know im kidding myself he will die of this awful addiction. ijust feel so hopeless. and my4 kids just dont understand,this has brought on manic/bipolor in myself. i have lost all my friends.i just dont know how to get away from this way of life for myself, i hope i dont sound selfish but sometimes i wonder if he would be better off dead then at least we wouldnt have to watch him die slow.

[harriet_cordry1906]

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[harriet_cordry1906]

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