UNDERLYING PHILOSOPHY AND VALUES

Strength-Based Approach

For FOCUS to work facilitators must concentrate on recognizing and building on the participants・ strengths rather than their challenges. Expect success and believe that every man in the program will achieve success. Most people, and particularly FOCUS men, do not want to be thought of as damaged or in need of repair. They know they have troubles and they know they need help but they do not appreciate being thought of as flawed. We have found that most FOCUS participants begin the program with the following strengths:
-They love their children
-They want to make personal improvements
-They value whatever relationship they have with their children
-They want to do well by their children


Facilitation vs. Teaching or Preaching

FOCUS is based on the premise that most men do not take well to being told anything. While most learners prefer to be actively involved in their learning, we have found that men in particular learn best when they are respectfully guided through an active process. In FOCUS there are many opportunities for the men to say what they are thinking and to share their knowledge and experience. Throughout the program you will hear the men・s voices and echo them back in positive interactions.

A Masculine Model

Fathers are men -- not most of the time but all of the time. Even though men are different in all kinds of ways, we find that most men respond to our masculine model. A masculine-based approach typically includes activities that are interactive, relational, and pragmatic.

Interactive activities such as the Name Game in FOCUS may seem to have little depth and appear to be redundant from week to week, but they open up the participants for the learning that needs to take place each week. The interactivity also helps build trust among participants. This can be especially important for men who have not typically had as much experience as women talking and sharing in groups.

In a masculine model it is important to create a safe space where men can engage in honest conversation and risk taking off their ：mask； of invulnerability. FOCUS is relational because men talk things out with other men and they respect each others・ opinions. Men are not typically thought of as very relational because their style of relating to one another is very different from feminine models. However, men do relate to one another on sports teams, work crews, and in many other settings. The focus is typically on doing something together and the conversation takes place along side the action. We believe the most successful men・s groups are those that allow men to relate in a more masculine fashion.

Very little actual theory is presented within the FOCUS curriculum. Typically, the process involves getting the men to first think about some important things and then act on them in a positive fashion. Working with men can be frustrating if you expect them to talk a lot about their feelings or to stay in their heads and reach particular conclusions. We have found that men don・t want to be told what to do but they do want to be moved to action. Men respond better when they are given a list of things to do as opposed to a list of things to think about. They do need certain information and knowledge but it won・t make much difference to them if no action is prescribed.

Values and Premises

The FOCUS program is based on the following values and premises:

-Children need both their mothers and their fathers.

-Participants care about their children and want to be the best dads they can be.

-They are not bad dads.

-It's never too late to develop a relationship with your children.

-Mothers and fathers parent distinctly and both styles are valuable to children.

-Fathers can only control themselves and not the mother of their child.

-Fathers need to work in partnership with their child's mother to benefit their children.

-While it is normal and understandable for dads on probation for nonpayment of child support to be frustrated and angry, it is never acceptable to permit that anger to escalate to violence in any form.

-In healthy relationships neither partner tries to control or dominate the other.