The Chronicles of spilt friends
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The Chronicles of spilt friends| 151HIDDEN |
Posted: Jan 16 2005, 04:55 PM
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Regular Trainer  Group: Members Posts: 64 Member No.: 5 Joined: 15-January 05  |
The Chronicles of
Spilt Friends Chapter one rating G CHAPTER1:THE START “Hey Scott man I want to start to catch pokemon as soon as I can“. “I will always be there for you DJ“. “I sure hope so“. “DJ dinner” called a voice from the house across the street. The yard looked like they spent a lot of time on it. For one thing the grass was a inch and a half long and 52 flowers planted in rows of 4. DJ ran inside as soon as he entered the room he could smell the corn on the cob with the chicken in the oven and mashed potatoes already on the table. Just then his little sister Sara came running down yelling dinner dinner dinner. “man Sara why cant you be normally quiet”. “Why cant you be nice”. “settle down you two”. After dinner DJ went up to his room and took one last look at it for tomorrow he would be out on his pokemon journey. He took a last look at the pokemon picture on the picture were the three pokemon for him to choose Larivitar, Aron, Mudkip. He had no idea his life would change forever. The next morning his mom told him some news he never wanted to hear. “DJ Scott moved over night he left this in our mail box. DJ just looked at the package. DJ put it in his pocket he knew that he had to pick his pokemon. DJ walked past the park that he played at since he was 4 years old. The apples trees DJ climb. I started to think Man Scott why did you have to move I remember what you said I will always be there for you DJ. I hope you keep your word. “DJ over here called Pro. Pine”. “So the only pokemon left is Mudkip”. “Yes I wanted that one”! “that works out then doesn’t it. Well here you go”. “Thank you” said DJ. “Go Mudkip”. A white light came from the poke ball then a Mudkip Came out DJ realized that him and Mudkip would be best friends. Then DJ’s mom came to give him money and clothes that he forgot. Then his mom gave him a big hug. As DJ started to walk away his mom whispered “good luck and be safe”.  I am open to any suggestions or corrections |
 
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| Necrontyr Champion |
Posted: Jan 16 2005, 05:11 PM
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Regular Trainer Group: Members Posts: 65 Member No.: 4 Joined: 15-January 05 |
him it seams... lacking it neads more discription on who DJ is
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| 151HIDDEN |
Posted: Jan 16 2005, 05:15 PM
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Regular Trainer Group: Members Posts: 64 Member No.: 5 Joined: 15-January 05 |
in the next chapter i will fix that
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| Necrontyr Champion |
Posted: Jan 16 2005, 05:17 PM
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Regular Trainer Group: Members Posts: 65 Member No.: 4 Joined: 15-January 05 |
what do you mean fix it i think you sould edit the story
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| 151HIDDEN |
Posted: Jan 16 2005, 05:41 PM
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Regular Trainer Group: Members Posts: 64 Member No.: 5 Joined: 15-January 05 |
i will do whatever i want in my storys
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| Necrontyr Champion |
Posted: Jan 16 2005, 05:43 PM
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Regular Trainer Group: Members Posts: 65 Member No.: 4 Joined: 15-January 05 |
hey im just giving suggestions
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| 151HIDDEN |
Posted: Jan 16 2005, 05:45 PM
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Regular Trainer Group: Members Posts: 64 Member No.: 5 Joined: 15-January 05 |
i guess it was the way i thought you ment it
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| Necrontyr Champion |
Posted: Jan 16 2005, 06:28 PM
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Regular Trainer Group: Members Posts: 65 Member No.: 4 Joined: 15-January 05 |
its ok, but i was just giving suggestions
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