Real Shinobi: The Beginning, My story

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4502100/1/Real...i_The_Beginning

That's chapter's one and two, and this is the first scene from Chapter 3:

Chapter 3: Untitled

The Genin exam turned out to be laughably easy. So easy, in fact, that Naruto didn’t need to switch places with his Kage Bunshin. It was wrong, he knew, but Iruka and Mizuki were none the wiser, or so he thought. If it weren’t for the thick padding in the back of his jacket, his clone would’ve been dispelled as it left the examination room, and he’d have been in a world of trouble.

As it was, he continued his physical training atop the Hokage monument. No one ever ventured to the apex of the monstrous structure, besides the Sandaime, so he had near complete privacy. Not that he knew, but ANBU where always watching.

He’d begun seriously training his body a scant two years ago, when in Taijutsu practice, both Sasuke and Kiba had kicked his ass. To make matters worst, he then lost to Hyuuga Hinata, who at the time, had been as hard as a fresh cooked soufflé. He’d always sent Kage Bunshin to class in his stead, but he’d never done anything with his free time, aside from the various odd errand for people who didn’t hate his guts. Those were few and far in between, so suffice to say, he wasted a lot of time.

That stopped though, after his humbling defeats, so every day “he” went to the academy, he also went to the top of the Hokage monument and trained his body. He did pushups and sit-ups and one-legged squats until he couldn’t move, and then pushed himself to do more. His growth was a bit stunted, but his physical prowess more than made up for that set-back. After two years of physically pushing his body to the limit, he was second in his class in Taijutsu. He could’ve been first, but where Sasuke had his family’s style to use, he had nothing.

“Hey Naruto!” his voice called out. He paused in his grueling training only to turn around and see himself climbing onto the level ground of the monument.

“What?” he asked himself, annoyed. He had such bad timing.

The clone didn’t reply, instead throwing a black-clothed hitai-ite at Naruto and dispelling itself. Naruto caught the headband, tying it around his head. Great, it keeps my bangs out of my face… THAT was the exam! Pitiful! It’s one thing to see it from another Bunshin’s view point, but to actually do it… Jiji needs to up the graduation requirements.

Tomorrow was the day for team assignments, and since Naruto’s concentration was shot by the interruption of his Bunshin, he decided to call it a day. Very carefully and skillfully, he jumped off the side of the Hokage Monument.

“Ya-hoo!” he yelled, falling rapidly through the air.

The onlookers below heard his yell, and when they realized what and who it was falling to the ground, their screams of fright turned into cheers. Some of them.

As he neared the ground, Naruto made a hand seal, and just like that, ten Bunshin’s popped into life on either side of him. He pulled the one to his immediate right closer to him, climbing upon its back. The maneuver was copied by the remaining Bunshin, leaving one Bunshin alone. It waved sadly at its compatriots, resigned to its fate.

With skill borne from attempting this feat one too many times, Naruto pushed off of the Bunshin’s back when they were about fifty feet from the ground, each of his clones doing the same. Ten clones slammed into the ground with a solid “poof”, the remaining clones and Naruto performing the maneuver once more. It was repeated twice before Naruto was alone and only ten feet above the ground, a safe height to fall from. He landed with a flourish, creating a crater a few feet deep from his impact. The cheering onlookers booed.

“Thank you, thank you! I’ll be here all morning!” He yelled, flicking off the villagers at the same time. He stopped when he heard clapping.

“That was pretty badass Naruto,” Ami stated, still clapping as she walked towards him.

“Ami? The fuck are you doing?” He asked rudely. He’d never really liked her, but that was only because she was just as unpleasant as he was.

“Aw shut it, shit face. I’ve got a message for you.”

Naruto waited for her to give her message. “Well?” he asked impatiently.

“You’re an asshole, ya’ know?”

“Yes, I know. Message!”

Ami laughed. She enjoyed annoying Naruto just as much as he enjoyed annoying everyone.

“We’re supposed to go to the Hokage’s office in exactly ten minutes.”

“Why?”

“Team assignments.”

“But those aren’t till tomorrow…”

“For the others… for us they’re now.”

“Us? We’re on the same team?!”

“Yep, it’s you and me buddy, and whatever other sucker they got to join us.” She saw the dejected look on his face. “What, hoped you’d be on your precious Sakura-chan’s team?”

“No, she’s pretty looking, but she’s also pretty useless as a ninja.” he answered truthfully.

“That sounds like blasphemy to me, Naruto.”

“Take it how you want it. Why are we getting our assignments now?”

“According to my Aunt it’s because the teams are rigged, or something, and the Hokage is exercising his rights to do whatever the fuck he wants to.”

“Oh.” Naruto said thoughtfully. “Who’s you Aunt?” he asked after a moment. Maybe she was related to Kaira-chan? Or Kosame-sensei?

“A crazy lady named Anko… pray that you never meet her.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s fucking crazy!”

“Oh… why do you curse so much?”

“Poor parental supervision. Why do you curse so much?”

“No parental supervision.”

“… makes sense.”

They started to walk together towards the Hokage Tower.

"That really sucks." Naruto said without prompting.

"What?" Ami asked, thouroughly confused.

"Falling to the ground from that height." he replied, indicating the Hokage Monument.

"You just fell from that height, fuck are you talking about!"

"I didn't fall, I fell in style. Besides, I'm talking about my clones."

"Yeah, I noticed that. They were solid... what gives?"

"It's my special super ultimate technique. Solid clones with memories."

"So you remember slamming into the ground?"

"Yep."

"... That does suck."

The walked silently for a few more moments.

"Dammit! I forgot!"

"What is it this time?"

"Mizuki-sensei owes me some new equipment." One hand sign later, and a Kage Bunshin was racing back to the academy.

"Need I ask?"

"If you want."

"... well?"

"You didn't ask."

"What the fuck was that about?" She was starting to get angry.

"..."

"I asked!"

"I didn't say I would answer." he replied cheekily.

She slapped him over the head. Hard. He punched her in the face. Not as hard, but definitely not lightly.

"You son of a bitch! You just hit me!" Ami exclaimed, shocked, hand held delicately to her cheek.

"I know."

She made to punch him back, but he was already racing toward the tower.

END SCENE

This is a list of the jutsu I have come up with... I just found a translator on the internet, so they're very raw, and for some of them, I couldn't find any other words so I went with what I could find.

Naruto:

Fuuton: Yokishima Katto Kaze… Joukeiki! (Wind Element: Evil Cutting Wind…Boom!)(Imbuing his sword with both wind and demonic chakra, Naruto slashes at his opponent releasing a torrent of corrosive wind energy that can cut anything. The Boom makes the corrosive energy explode.)

Kuchiyose: Ookami Nida (Summoning: Wolf Pack)

Fuuton: Kuchiyose: Abunai Shikon (Wind element: Summoning: Dangerous Fang)(Using his wind element, Naruto summons his giant wolves in a gust of wind to shoot them directly at an opponent.)

Suiton: Gekiha Harou (Crushing Waves)(summons a large wave of water)

On a side note, he'll still be able to summon toads, because I have a theory that the summoning contracts are bonded to a shinobi's soul, and Naruto has two souls in his body... do the math.

Ami

Doton: Itsutsu Hei Wana (Earth Element: Five Wall Trap)(Ami raises three stone walls from the ground that enclose her opponent. The walls clase at the top and the bottom making a triangular prison.)(She uses it in conjuction with a fire style attack to burn her enemies alive.)

Magen: Fuka Shikata (Demonic Illusion: Wrong Way)(throws off an oponents depth perception just enough to land a fatal blow.

Magen: Hyoukai Sakini (“”: Melting Away)(Ami melts into the ground or a tree, when in actually she is still where she is. Used in conjuction with Bunshin for terrific get away or alone for a sneak attack)

Raiton: Fukai Daiben (Lightning Element: Deep Shit)(used in conjuction with Naruto’s Crushing Wave technique. Think about it... water and lightning.)

===========================

Nothing much in this next scene. Only talking, really. You can get a semblance of Naruto's skills, from his immediately noticing the ANBU to his quick use of Kage Bunshin. The next scene will be a brief fight against Genma... did they ever show his fight against Baki?

The scene after... reflections, and the start of their training, if I'm so inclined. And then, the chapter after, you get to see Tenzou's ANBU squad in action.

Scene 2 out of 4

“Ah, Naruto, you’ve arrived.” The Sandaime checked the clock sitting on the corner of his desk. “And two minutes late… that’s very unbecoming of an aspiring Shinobi.” he added darkly.

Naruto gulped, trying to take a step back, only to be pushed forward by a pissed off Ami.

Not even sparing her a glance, Naruto surveyed the room. Everything was the same, even the hidden ANBU by the door and the window, but there was no third genin in sight… just a man in a flak jacket standing at the Hokage’s desk. He was fairly tall, almost six feet, and he had a bandana tied around his head. And was that a blade of grass in his mouth?

The man, noticing Naruto’s scrutiny, introduced himself. “My name is Genma. Shiranui Genma.”

Naruto nodded. “Uzumaki Naruto.” He must be our jounin-sensei… No one ever said Naruto wasn’t perceptive.

“Mitarashi Ami.” He’s a jounin… Obasan told me about him.

“Hmmm,” Genma frowned thoughtfully. “Anko’s niece?”

“Unfortunately.” she muttered darkly.

Even the Hokage chuckled at that, before waving the two Genin over to sit.

“Listen up you two, and listen closely. Every year, out of all those who graduate from the academy… how many was it this year?”

Naruto frowned at the old man. He doesn’t even know the facts…

Genma replied after a moment’s pause. “According to Iruka, there were 30 graduates.”

“So there were ten teams this year? It’s usually nine… so why are there only two genin in this room?”

“Umm…”Genma said unintelligently. He had no clue. The ANBU by the window spoke up, spooking Ami, who didn’t know he was there.

“One of the prospective Genin had a death in the family. He has forgone further ninja training to join in his family’s business, to support his mother and sibling. It was for the better. His ninja skills were severely lacking, and pedigree was not on his side.”

The Hokage just shook his head sadly. “That’s a shame… but anyway, as I was saying, out of all those who graduate, only nine of them will become ninja… that’s three teams. The true Genin test, given by the various Jounin sensei’s, has a thirty three percent passing rate.” He paused to let that information soak in… and to his delight, Naruto gave no outward reaction, and it appeared that Ami was following his lead. Where Naruto was at home in the Hokage’s presence, Ami was a little unsettled. It was to be expected… he was a legendary ninja.

“You two are here today because the three teams that pass are picked before hand… clan politics, a bore, I must say.” He added haughtily.

Naruto grinned. “Still the same Urutora jiji.” he said, before rolling out of his seat. Less than a second later, a paperclip was flying through the space his head had previously occupied.

“I’m surprised you remembered… you little brat.” The Hokage grumbled.

Naruto climbed back in his seat, chuckling. “How could I forget? You jump started my ninja career because of that.”

Ami looked on, thoroughly confused, and seconds away slapping Naruto and the Hokage to stop with all the games… well, maybe not the Hokage, but definitely Naruto!

“Before I was so rudely interrupted, again,” the Hokage said, pointedly glancing at Naruto, “the three teams chosen by the council didn’t include either of you, and I personally would like to see what kind of Shinobi you can become.” He noticed that Ami looked like she was dying to ask a question, so he acquiesced.

“Hokage-sama sir… why do you have a personal interest in me? I wasn’t particularly talented in the Academy… and I only finished third in my year.”

“You are aware of the trials your aunt went through?” he asked seriously.

“Hai.” she said, after a moment’s hesitation.

“Think of it as an… experiment. I would like to see what a Mitarashi can do without a homicidal maniac as a sensei. I’m a professor, you see.”

Now it was Naruto who looked like he was dying to speak, but the Hokage knew enough to know that whatever came out of the boys mouth would be some sort of insult, so without prompting, he thumped another paperclip at him… and the brat dodged it! I’m getting too old for this…

“Excuse me, Hokage-sama… so you’re saying that Naruto and I will be a two-man team, with Shiranui-san as our Jounin-sensei?” Ami asked. The Hokage’s antics with Naruto had emboldened her confidence, so she didn’t feel so out of place in the presence of the legendary ninja.

“Yes, that is exactly what I’m saying.” he replied. “You’re a smart girl, Ami-chan… don’t sell yourself short.”

“Hai.” she said, blushing.

“How did you now Genma would be your jounin-sensei?” the Hokage asked.

“It was just a guess, really.”

“A good guess.”

“Thank you sir.” she said, blushing again.

“Ha! Crushing on an old man!” Naruto laughed. Ami turned towards him, face flaming read, and socked him good in the jaw. Naruto, clutching his jaw, and not one to be outdone, feinted towards Ami. She raised a hand to block, and the Kage Bunshin behind her gave her a solid foot in the back, which had the detrimental affect of sending her careening into Naruto.

“Oof!” they both exclaimed, falling to the ground in a tangle of prepubescent limbs.

“Naruto,” Ami grumbled as she climbed off of him, “I’m so going to kick your ass.”

“Hn.” he grunted.

Ami shocked, stared at him eyes wide, before dissolving into a fit of laughter. “You… sounded… just… like…him!”

“Who are they talking about?” The Hokage whispered to Genma.

“I have no clue.” the Jounin replied.

“I’ve been practicing. You know, to woo Sakura-chan.” Naruto said to Ami, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You’re alright, Naruto… but I’m still going to kick your ass.”

“Sure you are.”

“Ahem!”

Naruto and Ami sobered up quickly, snapping to attention. When the Hokage cleared his throat there was no time for fun and games.

“I see you two get along just fine… Genma?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty solid team-dynamic… as solid as it can be at this point, anyway.” He tilted his head in thought. “With just two of them, they’ll grow closer a lot faster than most genin teams… but when we start going on dangerous missions, we’ll be at a disadvantage.”

“And?” the Hokage implored.

“Naruto,” he started, looking at the afore mentioned genin, “as far as I know, is fairly advanced for a genin… Ami, on the other hand, is a typical beginner ninja.”

“Typical for this year’s class, you mean?”

“Well, yeah… any other year and she’d have been the top Kunoichi in her class.”

“So what exactly are you saying, Genma?”

“I’m saying… I’m saying I’m her jounin-sensei, and I can pretty much mold her into the type of Kunoichi I want her to be… the responsibility is quite daunting, Hokage-sama.”

Naruto and Ami had since returned to their seats, and were listening intently.

“We’ll have to start advanced training sooner than the other squads, to pick up the slack of being one man down.” Genma continued. “It’s unorthodox.”

Sarutobi frowned. “You chew on blades of grass for no reason… that’s unorthodox.”

Genma smiled. “I suppose you’re right.” He turned towards his genin-team. “Meet me at Training Ground 13.” He made to sunshin away.

“Wait! Where is it?” Ami asked.

“Find it. That’s your Genin test.”

Genma sunshined away, leaving the Genin relatively alone with the Hokage.

“Listen up!” The Hokage barked. “Everything I’m doing with you two goes against protocol… I’m breaking a lot of rules. However, since I also right those rules… it really doesn’t matter. Just remember that I, the Sandaime Hokage of Konohagakure, The Legendary Professor, a genius ninja unlike any other genius ninja before him and after him, have a personal interest in the both of you.” He finished seriously. “Do not disappoint me.”

“Hai!” The two genin shouted simultaneously. Even Naruto felt honored.

“Now… get out of my sight, you brats.” He opened a drawer and pulled out his pipe. “It’s break time.”

END SCENE

This post has been edited by Cxjenious on Aug 30 2008, 05:29 PM

Third to last paragraph, right should be write. Besides that this chapter was good in my opinion. Head over to Lutris' Japanese Help Shop for help with your jutsus and any other japanese translations (don't use shitty internet translators). The big thing I'm wondering is what the main plot of this story is going to be. Are you going to do a Canon re-write, with Naruto on this new team? Or are you going to try to steer this in a new direction. I mean after all, he's not on Team 7, so he won't foreseeabley (which I don't think is a word) become that good of friends with Sasuke. So he won't really give a shit that he gets bitten by Orochimaru and tries to leave the village, if you decide to keep that part in your story that is. Write more so my questions can be answered.

I edited that at DLP... forgot.

Plot you say? Akatsuki didn't just up and disappear in my fic... neither did Kumo or Iwa.

That's a good enough answer for me.

This is actually pretty decent. A lot of the stuff we get in WBA is just balls, this is a nice change. I didn't like the whole, "practiced on top of the hokage monument" thing, or the "Sasuke had his clan's taijutsu, so he was better than Naruto" thing. If Naruto was so irritated by being destroyed, he would have trained his body a lot, and once he found that he had hit a ceiling, he would have smashed through it. At least say something like, "He had tried to get the Hokage to find a teacher for him for an advanced taijutsu, but he hadn't followed through" or something. Practicing on top of the Hokage monument is just dumb when he's supposed to be in school, and he might enjoy doing forest training

I was surprised that Tenzou was willing to explain the blackmail/spying uses for for kage bunshin, but not the training ones, especially since he seems decently invested in Naruto.

Haha, other than that, the only problem that I noticed is that you called this chapter 3, but on FFN, the first chapter is the prologue and the second is chapter 1.

Gotta add another bookmark, I guess.

JJ

You'd rather Naruto be a boring super genin? Tenzou did explain the training benefits... but the benefits are in chakra, and nothing else. Clones share memories, so if he did enjoy forest training, he experienced it.

He did keep training and then push himslf to do more... did you read? The Hokage's involvement only went as far as Kage Bunshin... the deal was that he would only learn Kage Bunshin.

Duh.

Well, you lose points for being obnoxious, but that is sort of standard for the forum, so whatever.

No, I'm happy that you didn't make him a super genin, but you didn't explain why Tenzou didn't explain the training benefits.

He says that he needs to get Naruto to understand the benefit of learning outside of the sake of learning (unless you mean to say here that off-screen, he explained that it was good for learning other techniques). If it is offscreen, it's not explained very well. If Tenzou thought, "Better to have him get used to using the technique for regular things than to have him think of it as a combat-only technique or a learning-only technique," then it would make sense. But as it is, Tenzou is just like, "He could be great if he had this technique" and we aren't exactly sure how he could be great. He could be great like he is in the manga because he learns elemental manipulation quickly, or he could be great because he could do a million covert missions at once and has a means of getting information back to Konoha even if a clone falls into enemy hands.

I improperly phrased what I said. I realized that he trained his body, but it seemed like he hit an obstacle (not having a great technique) and just stopped progressing in that field. I did read, and this is what I read.

So why didn't he get something? It's okay that he had nothing, but explain why he didn't. Naruto clearly isn't lazy. He clearly wants to be better than Sasuke.

A. The deal was not between the Hokage and Naruto, it was between Tenzou and the Hokage.
B. You never say only.
C. It was just an example of what he could have done. He could have gone to any number of people, maybe he could have gone door to door, looking for someone to teach him. Did Tenzou ever say, "Okay, no one is ever allowed to help you again, but you get to learn Kage Bunshin now." If he did, then I missed it.

Duh.

JJ